Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2012 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

2012 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(3 October 2012, Serra, Brazil) The merits of this potential Darwin Award winner are solid, yet something stands in the way...

Consider a bus traveling along the streets of a busy modern city such as Serra, Brazil. The bus driver, guided by instinct developed over years of experience, is expertly navigating the narrow streets of the metro area. Suddenly a passenger throws in a new variable: He stands on the seat and hangs his torso out the window, wiggling around and whooping it up. The Darwin Awards editors are honor-bound to divulge that this sounds super-duper fun. Arms extended, hair a'flying, an undeniably W00T activity.

Yet to do so effectively increases the width of a bus by two feet. Head, please meet your nemesis in the form of a utility pole. The streets are narrow. Now you know!

Solid Darwin Award.

"Bus-ted." But wait! The printing press comes to a screeching halt. Open dialog between Darwin Awards editors and worldwide fans has reached a consensus that we cannot print the story of this passenger pigeon. Why? Because the deceased individual is a female aged 14. Our magical thinking holds that at 18 the deceased is dumb, and not a day before that birthday. The answer to your question, Intrepid News Reporter C. Elias, is that your submission is a Darwin Award in all aspects--except the age of the perp. In our archives females are underrepresented 10:1, yet we must kill this submission. Humans who are 14 years young are denied the solace of a Darwin Award.

Ludymila M: "There was one important detail on the papers that i believe should be taken under consideration here: the day before the incident, this girl had been suspended of school for 3 days, so she was not supposed to be on that school bus on the first place. Her parents insisted she should go nevertheless." © 1994 - 2022

Reader Comments:
Necrosage: "Just because they're under the age of consent in the USA doesn't mean that they are under the age in the country where this happened. I believe that this SHOULD be included."

Sondra A: "How many females around the world have already had at least one child by the age of 14? 18 is adult only in a very small percentage of countries."

John H: "Perhaps this Darwin Award could be deferred until what would have been her 18th..."

Andreas F: "At 14 the brain is undergoing major restructuring and rational thought is basically unable to enter the premises. So your exclusion from the award seems legit..."

Bart R: "Pff even for a 14 year old, it is a stupid action."

Bruce K: "Dead of stupidity, no matter what age, is still Award-worthy. As the DA tagline says, who are we to argue with natural selection?"

Jacopo S: "It's stupid to exclude this candidate, there is no place for political correctness in a website that jokes about death itself."

Rachel H: "Very disappointed in the Darwin Awards copy for this one: 'driver's instincts [sic] honed by years of experience.' That's NOT instinct, dumbo - that's LEARNING."

Cindy G: "Grabbed this off the internet: 'Instincts are formed after a contribution from two parties, the animal and its niche. They are the tie lines that bind both together so they become one. The animal has a predisposition to learn, the niche teaches, and each thread in the partnership of attunement they create is the instinct.'"

Reader Comments:

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