Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2012 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Vodka Blues
2012 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(10 April 2012) Washing trucks for a living is not a prestigious job but it does have perks, particularly for those who wash trucks for Beer Stores, a Canadian liquor store chain. The discovery of an onboard bottle of liquor can be considered a tipple-tip, can it not? And swigging free booze surely does make a menial job easier to swallow.

Which brings us to the deceased Darwin Award winner. Behind the driver's seat of a Beer Store truck, he discovered a vodka bottle full of blue liquid! Whether the deceased would have swallowed the liquid if it had been a suspicious shade of yellow, I do not know, but a suspicous shade of blue was deemed palatable. He immediately swigged from the bottle, which you have already realized contained windshield wiper fluid.

His taste buds and olfactory bulbs must have been on vacation. During the next two days, the man became sicker and sicker as he transferred the contents of the bottle to his circulatory system. He died in the hospital from methanol poisoning.

Subsequent to his death, a lawsuit against the parent company of Beer Stores deserves a Stella Award for stupid lawsuits. The company has been legally chastised and now forbids truck drivers from placing windshield wiper fluid in alcohol bottles.

Trippy trivia: In Russia and its former states, vodka is colored blue by smugglers.

An alcoholic cocktail called "The Windex."

Reader Patrick relates, "Trucker friend of mine smuggled booze into Canada
in the built-in windshield wiper fluid container in his 18-wheel, for his
old lady's brother. Booze tax was outrageous in Quebec."

The discovery of a "bottle of liquid" left behind by a trucker
ought to set off certain alarm bells...


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