Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2018 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Booze Cruise Loser
2018 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

Boston friends fondly confess that there ARE Booze Cruises. It's a thing. But for Aaron D., it's a thing of the past...

(8 September 2018, Massachusetts) An evening Booze Cruise in Boston Harbor led to the death of a 21-year-old man who was performing handstands on the railing of the ferry. Ordered to "stand down" from the rail by crew, acrobatic Aaron Dibella sneaked back up as soon as the crew turned their backs. He was performing a maneuver described as "a type of vertical pushup" when his hands faltered and he toppled overboard into the Boston Harbor.

Perhaps he could not swim? The crew snapped into action, focused a spotlight on Aaron, tossed him a life preserver, leapt into the harbor and swam to within five feet of the booze-cruiser... but sadly he sank before they could snag him. Coast Guard spokesperson Nicole Groll said, "We launched all our assets" upon receiving the report of a person overboard, but to little avail. His body was found by divers three hours later.

Young men feel immortal. They show off their physical prowess with rousing confidence. Unfortunately their human mortality is all too real. May this be a caution to others to reign in the confidence that leads to catastrioge. There is a joke here about sperm and swimmers, but I can't find it.

RIP Aaron Dibella.

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