The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it in a spectacular manner!

2018

The Missionary Position
John Allen Chau, a self proclaimed world explorer inspired by Livingston and Jesus, was killed by the very tribe of natives he was offering eternal life.

Wacky Welder
The tale of Howard Miller, 39, professional welder, illustrates the pitfalls of ignoring high school chemistry with a time-saving invention. Miller spent his last moments helping weld an exhaust pipe onto a classic Holden Kingswood sedan...

Mind The Cone Zone
A Wanaquer man died in a vehicle fire after he drove around barricade cones and onto live power wires in Franklin Lakes morning. A good son, Anthony G. was en-route to his father's house to shovel the driveway...

Focus On The Bear
While driving himself and some passengers back home from a wedding, Prabhu Bhatara parked the car on the roadside to relieve himself in the woods when he spied an INJURED bear. Instead of calling the authorities t

Dead On Valentines Day
A 19-year-old and his soon-to-be-ex were walking along the beautiful Havel River, quarreling. The frustrated man suddenly shoved the woman into the icy river! She could swim, he could not...

A Gun Named 'Lorena'
The Buckeye Police Department reports that a man accidentally shot his own sausage while shopping in the meat aisle at Walmart. Arizona law does not require a permit to carry a firearm, so o

Reticulated Python
Zaim Kosnan spotted a twelve-foot reticulated python dozing on the side of the road. 'That sizeable snake is worth money!' realized the 35-year-old, and he swung by his house for gloves and a sickle. Sweet succes

Abu Hamam
A sexagenarian was examining his personal weapon in his home when he inadvertently discharged it into his face! Twenty-one days after accidentally shooting himself, Abu Hamam, 62, succumbed to the self-inflicted head-bang...

GEOcaching Out!
Meteorologist warning of storms and torrential rains did not deter four geo-cache seekers from climbing into an underground waterway in the Czech Republic in search of a cask of treasure. Lest you think them innocen

Road-Rage-Aholics
A Darwin Double! After a road collision near Stary Krzew, two men emerged from their damaged cars and began arguing over the incident. The argument grew into a physical fight that lurched from the verge into the ad

Darwin Award Shorts - Old Folks Reunion
MARCH 2018, BIRMINGHAM ENGLAND || Man suffers a fatal heart attack after getting his head stuck beneath an electric footrest at the cinema while retrieving his cellphone from the floor:

Booze Cruise Loser
Boston friends fondly confess that there ARE Boston Harbor Booze Cruises. It's a thing. But for Aaron D., it's a thing of the past. Join me in mourning the colossal misjudgment that doomed this 21-year-old spark of light.

Killer Whalebone
Historic Darwin Award! Statesman Gouverneur Morris, a signatory to the Articles of Confederation and U.S. Constitution, died in 1816 from an infection caused by shoving a whalebone into his urethra to clear a blockage.

Fumble Tumble
Like a plot out of Sherlock Holmes, officials found a dead body mysteriously crumpled at the bottom of an UP-escalator at an Amtrak station at the New Carrollton stop at 2AM. Perplexed...

Lovestruck Louis III
Blindly following lust, the world came crashing down upon the head of King Louis III, overzealous ruler of Francia. Despite great military success, great loss followed on its heels when a comely lady caught his eye...

Mammoth Morons
Today's Group Darwin Award is for the males of the Woolly Mammoth species, Mammuthus primigenius, an elephant species extinct for about 10,000 years... in part due to the males' penchant for fossilization...

Bag-atelle
The ban on shopping bags has taken a terrible toll! A 58-year-old woman was run over by her Mazda CX7 after she pulled over to check whether the grocery bags were in the trunk. The car, evidently not secured by the parki

Not A Darwin Winner
Dozed To Death: A deadly game of hide-and-seek with a bulldozer happened after a county maintenance worker discovered a dozen hidden pot plants and called police. Here's why this is NOT A DARWIN AWARD...   

2017

Steamy Buns
A spiritual magician styled 'Black Dog' died while performing a ritual to cleanse body and soul. He seated himself inside an industrial wok, alongside sweet corn and vegetarian buns, and the steamer lid was lowered...

Red Evolution
A Russian welder working in Tselinnoe noticed how well a fire extinguisher fits into a decommissioned artillery howitzer. Inspired, he stuffed the fire extingusher down the barrel...

Unpalatable Death By Pallets
Logistics was uppermost in the mind of an employee of the Tanarumono Logistics Center when he needed to change a lightbulb ten meters overhead. The forklift could only lift him 2.5 meters, and that was clearly n

Snapchat Prat
In a new twist on, 'Hold my beer and watch this!' a teen handed Snapchat to a friend and with a whoop of glee he leapt over a foot-bridge railing, intending to land dramatically on a parapet below...

Backseat Drivers
Double Darwin Award winners redefine 'Backseat Driving.' In a tale of Russian intelligence--or lack thereof--an amorous couple died while procreating in the back seat of their Niva SUV situated near a lake...

#ElephantsWantPrivacy
Three male humans, three male elephants, and a dream of a perfect wildlife selfie leads to the first 2017 Darwin Award! You don't have to outrun the elephant...you just have to outrun the other guy.

Golf Cart + Garden Hose
Fun-loving Cody Horn's last act was to pilot a golf cart towed by garden hose behind a vehicle on State Highway 4, east of Angels Camp...

One Way Ticket
Blasting apart a ticketing machine at the train station was supposed to buy him a ticket to the good life, but instead the 31-year-old purchased passage in the opposite direction, losing his life in an explosion that

Air Strike Out
Standing on a truck on an airport runway, our Double-Darwin Award Winners Nitzia and Clarissa chose a regrettable location for a cell phone selfie...

Pistol Of Justice
'Divine punishment,' said the judge, deciding not to impose jail time on a man who shot himself in the testicles while carrying an illegal weapon in his waistband...

Flat Hatting Pilots
Flying home from a week-long Naval event that included Low Altitude Awareness Training, two experienced military pilots traded off at the controls while 'flat hatting' at low altitude and high speed...

503 Server Overload
Locked in his bedroom by Mom, a French man leaves by climbing down the ethernet cable...

Grim Roofer
What's that smell? A burglar removed a few roofing shingles and climbed into the roof of a pharmacy in Queensbury...   

2016

Soaked To The Bone In Yellowstone  (2190)  88%

Masturbator Meets Hard End  (3335)  86%

iPhone Shocker  (924)  80%

Her Sleep Number Was Up  (2120)  69%

  
2015

Case Of The Charred Crook  (1021)  89%

Zap!titude  (506)  80%

Gasping For Votes  (263)  72%

  
2014

Sports Training  (8715)  85%

The Thing Ring  (9646)  85%

La Petite Mort  (5020)  80%

Resurrection FAIL  (5959)  80%

Man Customizes Car Ignition Sequence To His Peril  (4606)  79%

Crispy Copper Fries  (5027)  79%

Selfie With Elephant  (3898)  78%

Anchorman  (4438)  77%

Delhi Sandwich  (3412)  76%

Race To The Death  (9932)  76%

Pool Party  (3794)  75%

Boogie Board Blunder  (1802)  74%

Banana Bandido  (5175)  56%

  
2013

The Doors  (2473)  86%

Some Finnish  (3252)  76%

Ecco L'allegro Saldatore  (6334)  66%

Newcastle Icicle  (11323)  55%

  

2012 Smokin' Hot Sauce! Vodka Blues Jack-In-The-Bus   

2011 Motorcycle Helmet Law, ex-Protestor Story Hotter Copper Whopper Wedding Jitters   

2010 Angry Wheelchair Man Textbook Double Double Darwin Glacier Erasure Barrel Ride, With Flames! The Burdens Of Our Fathers Reckless Spending Teeming With Crocodiles Ride 'Em Cowgirl Tiny Elec Fence Carbideschieten   

2009 Sparkleberry Lane Muffled Explosion Mock Death Dying To Go A Shoe-In Winner Crushing Debt Tennessee Pee Race To The Bottooommm Painkiller Doublemint Dumb Double Dip She Talks Faster Than She Walks Saw It Coming! Dynamite Rancher Poor Decision On A Major Scale Wetting the Bed Missed (But Not Missed By) The Bus Epitaph, She Liked Feathers Fool's Gold Bricks in the Head Double Parking Nutty Putty Cave   

2008 Santa Ignorância Story Rub the Mint A One Track Mind An Illuminating Story Pining Away Wascally Wabbit Thou Shalt Not Steel Merry Pranksters Pierced! Boner! Chemistry Went To Her Head On the Piste Not a Shred of Sense Clotheslined! Early Retirement Plan Pillar Of Strength Not Fast Enough Food Going to Seed Slippery When Wet A Screw Loose Low Flying Drunks Into the Abyss Wheel Of Fortune Shopping Cart Crash Killer Fuel Economy Organ Donors   

2007 Crutch, Meet Crotch The Enema Within Pushmi-Pullyu Falling in Love Support Group Weight Lift A Cow-ardly Death Beer for Bears Stop. Look. Listen. Whac-A-Mole A Prop-er Sendoff Oil Tank Trampoline Elephants Press Back Ditched The Alchemist Barn Razing Electronic Fireworks Timing is Everything Descent of Man Sky Surfer The Laptop Still Works! Fatal a-Traction Breathless Four Great Ideas Fatal Foaming Action   

2006 Modern Armor Sudden Stop The Human Bottle Rocket Hammer of Doom Stubbed Out A Slow Burn Score One For Goliath High on Life Faithful Flotation Copper Kite String Rolling Stones Rock Out Crushing De"feet" Footloose in the Footwell   

2005 Kittie Toy Chimney-Cleaning Grenade Freeway Dangler Elephant Tail Failed Frame-Up 'Plug Me In' Surprise Attack Surprise Wales Wins What I Can Still Do Mining for Elephants Rocketing to Glory The Nuisance of Seatbelts Crane Your Neck Tide Waits For No Man Off-Road Driving Death Valley Daze All Wound Up Heck on Wheels   

2004 Rutting Contest Spy vs. Self Man Drowns in Kitchen Sink 4-1-0 Club Do-It-Yourself Landmine Speed Demon Bannister to Heaven Watch Out for That Tree! Hold That Bus! Right Over the Dam "Who Wants Summa This?" Aim to Win Terminal Creativity Tree vs. Man Cold Call Chicken to Go The Army's a Blast Homemade Wine Damned if You Do... Dope on a Rope Flying Dutchman Tunnel Vision Lava Lamp Snake Man Daring Feet Amateur Bomb Inspector Closer Look at Victoria Falls   

2003 Unsafe and Insane Ultimate Quest for Airtime Dying for a Ciggie Workin' at the Car Wash Love Struck Slaughterhouse Robbery Second Time's the Charm Jack Up ZAP! Hurricane Blumpkin Pancake Thief A Honey of a Buzz Killer Shades Exploding Ex-tortionist Sharp Landing Tree Hard, Head Empty Master Welder Shooting Blanks Asphalt Tattoo Self-Demolition Derby   

2002 Shoot 'em Off Faulty Aim Fatal Firecracker Chainsaw Massacre What's That Sound? Tied Off Human Torch Wounded Wire Bites Back Bees 1, Humans 0 Wrong and Wronger Border Crossing Chainsaw Insurance Slip Sliding Away Return to Trees Fails The Worm Has Turned Sneakers Caveat Emptor Saw a Grenade Rocket Tester Truck Stop Romanian Trains Jet Taxi Losing Face Booby Traps Trap Boob Well-Trained I Can't Swim! Fir Tree Trimmer Daredevil Blowhole A Rocky Roll Mechanic Mayhem Depth of a Fisherman   

2001 The Dumb Tax? BulletProof The Unkindest Cut Crystal Daze Blown Away Fifteen Minutes of Flame Rubbish! Think Before You Leap Killing Time Library Return Story Pig Jig Sweet Release Snowball's Chance in Hell Ants' Revenge Roadkill Coke Is It! Thirst for Death Dodging Drink Dues Path of Least Resistance Fishing With No Compass God Saves? Jet Ski Spree Scooter Snuff Grenade Juggler Ethanol Schmethanol Slow Learner Sheep Sleep Precarious Perch Bass Ackwards Skeleton Key Enraged Elephant   

2000 Shorties-Stupid Human Tricks Gun Safety Training Jumping Jack Cash The Daily Grind Fireworks Fiasco Niagara Falls Home Grown Chute Come On In! Human Popsicle Stab in the Dark Fast Food Fatality Forklift Safety Video Sand Surfing Shocking Fall Crappy Driving Award Do It Yourself, Do Yourself In Father Knows Best Testing Faith What's That Ringing? William Tell Overture Chute Boy Human Hitching Post Out With a Bang! Ostrich Safety Settle the Score Rappin' on Heaven's Door Short & Sweet Circular Reasoning Baby Drives Me Crazy Two Avalanche Alaskan 3 Clowns on Scooter Fantastic Plastic Lover Elevator Wedgie Hornet Challenge High on Grass Running of the Bulls Hardheads Stoned Sleep Polar Bear Swim Can Duck Shooters Swim? Kiss of Death Duct Tape Perilous Pose Tired of it All A Fell Death Throwing Stones Moscow Marauder Concrete Cylinder Roll Power Punch Proves Fatal   

1999 Living on Zionist Time Fatal Footsie Gone Fishin' Hurricane News Junkie Darwin Awards Shorts Copper Caper Up In Smoke Dead Spitter Sink the Cue Ball Burmese Python The Bumbershoot Smarter Animals Firefighters Ignite! Winner Gets a Post Mortem Go Speed Racer Go Flames of Passion Roller-Coaster Intelligence Blunders Peeper Plummets Walking on Water Shell Shot Dum Dum Boutique Snake Charmer? Lights Out Laughing Gas What's New Pussycat? Maine Chainsaw Romance Yosemite Hiker Breatharianism Rob Your Neighbor Resistance is Futile Love Crushed Sex Good Trumps Evil at Church Wet Will He Power of Satan? Sex and Suffocation Mental Eclipse Liposuction Tragedy Hard Work Rewards Wild Animal Lesson Stay With the Herd! Ur-inate-iot Yosemite Parachute Safety Fatal Footwear Fashion Wiped Out Killer Whale Rodeo That Sinking Feeling Avoiding a Fight Show Off Sleepfalling Poisonous Pets Sauna Kills Monk Silenced by the Lambs Paragliding vs. Parasailing   

1998 Ski Theft Backfires Hanging Around Jail Guy Gulps Goldfish Modus Operandi Misfires Halloween Pumpkin Award Don't Drink and Fly Dynamite and Boats Don't Mix Sequined Pastie Passionate Plunge Dive to Death Igniting Fireworks the Easy Way Wife Tossing in Buenos Aires Never Too Old for a Darwin Award Basketball Player Takes a Dunking Don't Chute the Messenger   

1997 Out of their Heads Bungee Jumper I'm A Man, I Can Handle It No Bike Lane at the Airport Escaping Conviction Privacy on the Beach Man Slices Off Penis Poor Driving Runs in the Family Fatal Flasher Clumsy Canadian Burglar Tunnels of Doom   

1996 Macho Men? Lawyer Aloft Cigarette Lighter Triggers Fatal Explosion Playing with Cats Hungry Python Kills Owner Speed Shunting Set the Parking Brake, Stupid! One For the Birds   

1995 JATO Rocket Car Caught in the Auger Count Your Chickens Repairs on the Road Whitewater Floaters Electrifying Stunt FishMan   

1994 Sizzling Scaffolding Auto Blotto Convince the Jury Where's the Shoot? Where's the Chute? Historical Darwins Mortal Insult Tired Ammo Bottom of the Barrel Absolutely Radiant Risky Reenactment Conquering the Arch Tightlacing Cactus Crunch Train of Thought Catapult to Glory Short Circuit A Breathtaking View Mile-High Club Failure Kung Fu Lion Military Intelligence Antlers Ahoy! "Hazard Befell Him" Guitars 'n' Guns Dry Spell Junk Food Junkie Electric Bathtub Blues Samurai Astronomer Freefall Physics Lesson Gunpowder-Guy Fawkes   

1993 Wrong Time, Wrong Place Priapism Takes a Penis In A Pig's Eye Midnight Special Pancake Pantry Thief Fish Gag Hurricane Hangover Deadly Reading Habits Murderous Affair Death of Dracula





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