Darwin Awards: Evolution In Action

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it in a spectacular manner!

2019

Pilot Patrick's In-Flight Shower
With 10,000 hours of flight time and an instructor certificate, when aviation fuel (AVGAS) entered the cockpit and sloshed around his feet Patrick's attitude was, 'What, Me Worry?'

Maine Man Boffed By Booby-Trap
Maine Man Boffed By Booby-Trap Ronald Cyr, 65, was shot dead on Thanksgiving evening in the rural town of Van Buren. Upon investigation, it was determined that the shooter was none other than Ron

Rhino Poacher Killed By Elephant
It makes a funny headline, but it's no laughing matter. The elephant-trampled and lion-digested poacher had illegally crept into a national park with murder in mind, for there is

Two Texans Die Trying
May their experiment be a warning to you, my friend. The Drawbridge on Black Bayou was evidentially an irresistible Friday Night challenge to Texas Man (32) and Texas Man Two (aged 23)...

2018

The Missionary Position
John Allen Chau, a self proclaimed world explorer inspired by Livingston and Jesus, was killed by the very tribe of natives he was offering eternal life.

Wacky Welder
The tale of Howard Miller, 39, professional welder, illustrates the pitfalls of ignoring high school chemistry with a time-saving invention. Miller spent his last moments helping weld an exhaust pipe onto a classic Holden Kingswood sedan...

Mind The Cone Zone
A Wanaquer man died in a vehicle fire after he drove around barricade cones and onto live power wires in Franklin Lakes morning. A good son, Anthony G. was en-route to his father's house to shovel the driveway...

Focus On The Bear
While driving himself and some passengers back home from a wedding, Prabhu Bhatara parked the car on the roadside to relieve himself in the woods when he spied an INJURED bear. Instead of calling the authorities t

Dead On Valentines Day
A 19-year-old and his soon-to-be-ex were walking along the beautiful Havel River, quarreling. The frustrated man suddenly shoved the woman into the icy river! She could swim, he could not...

A Gun Named 'Lorena'
The Buckeye Police Department reports that a man accidentally shot his own sausage while shopping in the meat aisle at Walmart. Arizona law does not require a permit to carry a firearm, so o

Reticulated Python
Zaim Kosnan spotted a twelve-foot reticulated python dozing on the side of the road. 'That sizeable snake is worth money!' realized the 35-year-old, and he swung by his house for gloves and a sickle. Sweet succes

GEOcaching Out!
Meteorologist warning of storms and torrential rains did not deter four geo-cache seekers from climbing into an underground waterway in the Czech Republic in search of a cask of treasure. Lest you think them innocen

Abu Hamam
A sexagenarian was examining his personal weapon in his home when he inadvertently discharged it into his face! Twenty-one days after accidentally shooting himself, Abu Hamam, 62, succumbed to the self-inflicted head-bang...

Road-Rage-Aholics
A Darwin Double! After a road collision near Stary Krzew, two men emerged from their damaged cars and began arguing over the incident. The argument grew into a physical fight that lurched from the verge into the ad

Booze Cruise Loser
Boston friends fondly confess that there ARE Boston Harbor Booze Cruises. It's a thing. But for Aaron D., it's a thing of the past. Join me in mourning the colossal misjudgment that doomed this 21-year-old spark of light.

Darwin Award Shorts - Old Folks Reunion
MARCH 2018, BIRMINGHAM ENGLAND || Man suffers a fatal heart attack after getting his head stuck beneath an electric footrest at the cinema while retrieving his cellphone from the floor:

Lovestruck Louis III
Blindly following lust, the world came crashing down upon the head of King Louis III, overzealous ruler of Francia. Despite great military success, great loss followed on its heels when a comely lady caught his eye...

Fumble Tumble
Like a plot out of Sherlock Holmes, officials found a dead body mysteriously crumpled at the bottom of an UP-escalator at an Amtrak station at the New Carrollton stop at 2AM. Perplexed...

Killer Whalebone
Historic Darwin Award! Statesman Gouverneur Morris, a signatory to the Articles of Confederation and U.S. Constitution, died in 1816 from an infection caused by shoving a whalebone into his urethra to clear a blockage.

Mammoth Morons
Today's Group Darwin Award is for the males of the Woolly Mammoth species, Mammuthus primigenius, an elephant species extinct for about 10,000 years... in part due to the males' penchant for fossilization...

Bag-atelle
The ban on shopping bags has taken a terrible toll! A 58-year-old woman was run over by her Mazda CX7 after she pulled over to check whether the grocery bags were in the trunk. The car, evidently not secured by the parki

Not A Darwin Winner
Dozed To Death: A deadly game of hide-and-seek with a bulldozer happened after a county maintenance worker discovered a dozen hidden pot plants and called police. Here's why this is NOT A DARWIN AWARD...

2017

Steamy Buns
A spiritual magician styled 'Black Dog' died while performing a ritual to cleanse body and soul. He seated himself inside an industrial wok, alongside sweet corn and vegetarian buns, and the steamer lid was lowered...

Red Evolution
A Russian welder working in Tselinnoe noticed how well a fire extinguisher fits into a decommissioned artillery howitzer. Inspired, he stuffed the fire extingusher down the barrel...

Unpalatable Death By Pallets
Logistics was uppermost in the mind of an employee of the Tanarumono Logistics Center when he needed to change a lightbulb ten meters overhead. The forklift could only lift him 2.5 meters, and that was clearly n

Snapchat Prat
In a new twist on, 'Hold my beer and watch this!' a teen handed Snapchat to a friend and with a whoop of glee he leapt over a foot-bridge railing, intending to land dramatically on a parapet below...

Backseat Drivers
Double Darwin Award winners redefine 'Backseat Driving.' In a tale of Russian intelligence--or lack thereof--an amorous couple died while procreating in the back seat of their Niva SUV situated near a lake...

#ElephantsWantPrivacy
Three male humans, three male elephants, and a dream of a perfect wildlife selfie leads to the first 2017 Darwin Award! You don't have to outrun the elephant...you just have to outrun the other guy.

Golf Cart + Garden Hose
Fun-loving Cody Horn's last act was to pilot a golf cart towed by garden hose behind a vehicle on State Highway 4, east of Angels Camp...

One Way Ticket
Blasting apart a ticketing machine at the train station was supposed to buy him a ticket to the good life, but instead the 31-year-old purchased passage in the opposite direction, losing his life in an explosion that

Air Strike Out
Standing on a truck on an airport runway, our Double-Darwin Award Winners Nitzia and Clarissa chose a regrettable location for a cell phone selfie...

Pistol Of Justice
'Divine punishment,' said the judge, deciding not to impose jail time on a man who shot himself in the testicles while carrying an illegal weapon in his waistband...

Flat Hatting Pilots
Flying home from a week-long Naval event that included Low Altitude Awareness Training, two experienced military pilots traded off at the controls while 'flat hatting' at low altitude and high speed...

503 Server Overload
Locked in his bedroom by Mom, a French man leaves by climbing down the ethernet cable...

Grim Roofer
What's that smell? A burglar removed a few roofing shingles and climbed into the roof of a pharmacy in Queensbury...

2016

Soaked To The Bone In Yellowstone (2395) 88%

Masturbator Meets Hard End (3657) 86%

iPhone Shocker (1027) 80%

Her Sleep Number Was Up (2188) 69%

2015

Case Of The Charred Crook (1333) 89%

Zap!titude (646) 81%

Gasping For Votes (273) 71%

2014