Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2018 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Killer Whalebone
2018 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

                                                             Public Domain
(6 November 1816, New York) Historic Darwin Award. A Founding Father of the United States, Gouverneur Morris was a signatory to the Articles of Confederation and the United States Constitution. He wrote the Preamble to the Constitution and has been called the "Penman of the Constitution." This intelligent and influential man died in New York City from an infection caused by shoving a whalebone into his urethra to clear a blockage!

The flexible catheter was invented in 1752 by Benjamin Franklin to help his brother who suffered from bladder stones, and Ben cited a 1720s inventor. Flexible catheters were evidently common in medical use, so our historic Darwin Award winner should have known to GO SEE A DOCTOR! The prominent American statesman was buried at St. Ann's Church in The Bronx.

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Reader Comments
"An unfortunate victim of cock block." -P.Hornzz
"A sperm whale bone?" T.Silver
"No, a killer whale bone." -M.Hilde
"Not qualified, he already had passed on his genes to his son." T.Steinhart
"He might have had more kids later on." -G.Gravier
"That's what he gets for boning himself." -J.Leeper
"Penman Of The Constitution? Pene-man, more like it." L.Grosfield
"a good joke here involving the word 'whale' in place of 'well,' boners, blowholes, or pee..." -A.Gramarye
"This is taking Moby Dick to a whole new level." -M.L.McKay
"This happeded before publication of Charles Darwin's Origin Of Species."

Submitted by: John M. Wilson

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