Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2007 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

The Enema Within
2007 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

Do you really want to know about The Enema Within?

(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor, well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.

The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.

Wide-ranging Slashdot Discussion in which we learn that alcohol enemas are all around us! Apparently the alcohol absorbs more quickly through the capillary beds of the rectum, a fact exploited by many party animals."


Reader Comments:
"Drunk off my ass."
"Takes shit-faced to a whole new level."
"He earned the Award, no ifs ands or butts about it."
"This puts a new light on the old saying. 'Up Yours Mate!'"
"Up the hatch."
"What a bummer."
"Rectum? Hell no it killed him."
"In the end, no drinks for me, thanks."
"A drop never touched his lips."
"Texas is back in the lead!"
"Beware what lies beneath."
"Coitus alcoholus."
"Bottoms up!"

"Never again will I look at a tableful of liquor at a party and think, 'Damn, that's an assload of booze.'"

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Submitted by: grimreaper
Reference: Houston Chronicle, Seattle PI,, Reuters

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