Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2004 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Right Over the Dam
2004 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(24 July 2004, Wisconsin) Barbara, 26, must have listened too many times to the old song "Three Little Fishies" and its verse about a perky little fish: "And she swam, and she swam right over the dam." But Barbara needed more than willpower to fulfill her high hopes, when she decided to take the shortest route between the Upper Dells and the Lower Dells.

She piloted a personal watercraft at high speed past numerous signs warning craft to slow down because of the imminent danger. She wove through the support posts of two separate bridges, one for trains, and one for cars. She ignored the screaming pleas of her 24-year-old passenger, who finally jumped off at the last minute. And she did it--she soared over that dam like a flying fish.

Then she crash-landed on the concrete spillway, dying instantly from massive head injuries.

Nearby residents told police that Barbara had been speeding like a maniac at high speeds in no-wake zones near the shore, despite the many posted warnings. Blood tests showed she had also been drinking like a fish. When asked to comment on her demise, the Police Chief said, "It kind of speaks for itself."

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Submitted by: C. Lentz
Reference: Wisconsin Dells Events

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