The Darwin Awards

1999 Darwin Awards

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Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

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1999 Darwin Award Winner Confirmed True by Darwin

(13 August 1999, California) On Friday the 13th, Scott and his sister Kimberly had an electrifying experience while attempting to view the annual Perseid meteor shower. Scott, an aspiring young astronomer, set up his telescope for a closer view of the sky. Alas, poor Scott did not reflect on the merits of using a telescope for watching the Perseids.A telescope is really a hindrance. The wide field of vision of a naked eye will catch far more shooting stars than a telescope, particularly if that eye is taken away from from city lights into the desert or mountains.

Having already proven to be a poor astronomer, Scott proceeded to show that he was not much of an electrician, either. Bothered by the glare of a nearby streetlight, he broke into the base of the light pole and attempted to sever the 4000-volt power cord. He was pronounced dead at Hoag Memorial Hospital shortly after his spectacularly aborted skywatching attempt.

At 1AM on Friday, Scott used pliers to pry open an inspection plate at the base of the streetlight, then sawed into the 2-centimeter wire. Kimberly saw a flash knock him onto his back.

Scott had the technical know-how to construct a computer from scratch or wire a burglar alarm. "He was trying to solve a problem and not using his head, and he made a mistake," grieved the dead man's father. "He didn't realize the power."

A spokesman for Southern California Edison said, "This is another example of why you shouldn't tamper with electricity if you don't know what you're doing." A friend of Scott's remarked, "Scott had a itch for doing things with his hands. He has done many dangerous things. This time he made a fatal mistake." Another friend said, "Don't confuse bravery with stupidity."

There are no shooting stars for Scott this Friday the 13th, but he does have a shot at winning a Darwin Award.

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For more information, read Scott's last IRC chat, submitted by many of his friends.

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2004
Submitted by: John Elder, David Morenus, Tom Shelton, C. Peter Constantinidis, Sean Green, Kenneth Jang

Reference: Fresno Bee, Scott Martelle of the Los Angeles Times, CBS News, Rachanee Srisavasdi of the Orange County Register, www.channel2000.com, The Press-Telegram, Yahoo! News
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