Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2018 Not a Darwin Award

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Not A Winner - Dozed To Death
2018 Not A Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(9 July 2018, Pennsylvania) A deadly game of hide-and-seek with a bulldozer happened after a county maintenance worker discovered a dozen hidden pot plants and called police. The vice squad arrived at the stinky weed garden and one of the suspects surrendered immediately, but the other, Gregory Longenecker, took off running.

The vice officer hopped onto the 'dozer with the maintenance worker and, assisted by helicopter surveillance, began to 'doze through the shrubbery. THIS INCIDENT IS NOT A DARWIN AWARD AND HERE'S WHY. Evading capture by hiding in thick underbrush might be foolish, but no one expects a bulldozer search.

Search efforts failed to root out the man, so the vice officer halted the earth-moving machine and hopped off to scan the area. That is when the male suspect was discovered laying dead on the ground behind the bulldozer.

DOZED TO DEATH was nominated for a Darwin Award but after reviewing the facts and fan protests, we have come to the conclusion that it was not Mr. Longenecker's fault that he was crushed in this repulsive and unexpected homicide. The suspect was unarmed. The brush was impassable so he could not run far. And the crime of which Mr. Longenecker was suspected was growing a plant.

For more information please read this worthy article at theFreeThoughtProject.


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