Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2011 Darwin Awards

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Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Hotter Copper Whopper
2011 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(3 July 2011, Leeds, UK.) Thief! How, many, thieves, have, to die, to prove that you shouldn't steal copper wire? Besides the risk, it's not right to cause thousands of dollars worth of damage, for hundreds of dollars in profit. HEY YOU IMMORAL IDIOTS, It makes bad environmental sense to destroy more than you recoup. Angry lecture!

Copper Kills! CE Electric UK recently began marking the copper using 'SmartWater' technology to deter malicious, costly vandalism. American Electric Power is converting from copper grounding wire to copper-clad steel wire that has little scrap value and is tougher to cut.

Knowing that species evolve, why are we so dumb? Like Darwin's Finches, humans are filling the 'new islands' (evolutionary niches) created by our civilization, and our mutations are being tuned by each self-limiting step we take.

Which brings me to a Leeds teenager, who at 16 became a deceased Darwin Award winner by making one such self-limiting step. Copper theft is a killer, and also a nuisance. CE Electric UK has dealt with 279 incidents in the last year in West Yorkshire. They plead, "We are pleading with thieves to think about the consequences and how much they are risking for such a small return. DANGER OF DEATH signs are posted for a reason!"

Stealing copper? Fast track train to Charles Darwin's heavenly estate. "Welcome home, Leeds teen. You were old enough to know better!" Sometimes a friend has to cram life into too few years, but we comfort ourselves knowing that his destiny was to serve as a warning to others.

ORIGINAL SUBMISSION

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2022
Submitted by: Mike Durthaler
Reference: Yorkshire Evening Post, BBC News.

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