Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2008 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Thou Shalt Not Steel
2008 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(8 March 2008, Czech Republic) Steel is valuable, especially high-quality alloy used in steel cable. Scrap metal dealers ask no questions and pay in cash. And a good supply of steel cable can be found in elevator shafts. These facts focused our man on a particular gold mine - er, steel mine - located in an empty granary near Zatec, forty miles northwest of Prague.

The silo housed a grain elevator. Its massive cable was tightly tethered to the floor and its upper end disappeared into the shadowy space above. After substantial wear and tear on a hacksaw, our man cut through the bottom end of the strong steel cable! At that instant...

... The counterweight, no longer held in check, began to accelerate silently downward and quickly reached the bottom of the shaft. Result: One Winner of a "Terminal Velocity" Darwin Award! -- R.I.P. to this unnamed steel tycoon.


Reader comments:
"Down and Out!"

"What goes up..."
"A weighty subject."
"Do not steel or you will get the shaft."
"He took the elevator to heaven, the stairway was too slow."
"Kabeldiebstahl scheint (gefaehrliche) Mode zu sein" © 1994 - 2022
Submitted by: Knize Ignor

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