Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2006 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Modern Armor
2006 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

Cartoon of  a beautiful 3-D red heart, with a serious knife imbedded.

(26 August 2006, Leicester, England) Darren's death was a mystery. The 33-year-old was found slumped in the hallway of his house, bleeding from stab wounds to his chest. Police initially assumed that an assailant had attacked him, but they could find no supporting evidence. A year later, the inquest revealed why Darren can stake his claim to a seat at the Winners Bench of Darwin Awardees.

Darren had called a friend that day. Minutes after he rang off he rang back to ask for an ambulance! The emergency responders said the front door was ajar, and Darren was lying near a bloodstained lock-knife. The knife was his own, purchased whilst on holiday in Spain.

Forensics investigators saw no indication of a struggle. The coroner reported that the stab wounds seemed to be self-inflicted. However Darren had shown no prior suicidal tendencies, and also had called for an ambulance. Puzzling...

His wife, who was on holiday at the time of the incident, was able to clear up the matter and revealed why our subject will go down in history as a Darwin Award winner. As she was leaving for holiday, she remembered that Darren wondered aloud whether his new jacket was 'stab-proof.'

That's right: Darren, alone and bored, had decided to 'funk around and find out' if his jacket could withstand a knife attack! He used his Spanish steel blade, and did not bother to test his jacket while it was draped over the back of a chair. No, our man thought that the best approach was to wear the garment and stab himself.

Sadly, his jacket-armor proved less resistant to a sharp blade than he had hoped. The coroner reached a verdict of accidental death by 'misadventure'.

Related Darwin Award: Death of Dracula
Related Personal Account: Flak Vest Test

Reader Comments:
"Shanks for nothing."
"Take a stab at it."
"Unfortunately he was never able to try out his bulletproof pants."

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Submitted by: Vince Warrington

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