Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2003 Darwin Awards

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? Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Tree Hard, Head Empty
2003 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(17 February 2003, New York) A 25-year-old man, long accustomed to annoying neighbors by snowmobiling at high speeds through sleeping streets, finally received his comeuppance -- and in the process, a Darwinian nomination -- when he drove headfirst into a tree.

It is not only his reckless speeding through a nighttime residential area that makes him eligible; nor is it merely because he was driving an unregistered, uninsured snowmobile without a helmet while drunk. Although these spectacularly stupid ideas were ultimately responsible for his demise, there is yet another relevant aspect to report.

Brian "The Brain" was a fireman, a member of the same company dispatched to peel him off the tree, the same organization that preaches snowmobile safety; responds to other gruesome, drunken snowmobile "accidents, and the very same company that posts an illuminated "helmet safety" notice 700 feet from his own home.

Clearly, while others have been as foolish as Brian in their choice of recreational activities, few have been so uniquely aware of the possible repercussions prior to making that choice!

Reader Comments:
"Ah, will we see his like again..."
"I don't think a helmet would have helped the last smart cell in his brain escape this one."

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Submitted by: Melissa Parent
Reference: Personal account of Melissa Parent, Associated Press, buffalonews.com, cable6tv.com

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