Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2003 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Dying for a Ciggie
2003 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(17 June 2003, United Kingdom) The National Express bus service between Aberdeen and London takes approximately twelve hours, with NO SMOKING on the coach. A 43-year-old woman was riding south from Glasgow, and as the miles rolled by, she became more and more desperate for a cigarette. It's a long trip for addicts.

The coach stopped at Carlisle--at last, she could satisfy her craving! But no, she was not allowed off the coach. She sat in her seat, becoming more agitated by the mile. She was craving a cigarette. She was fuming.

Fellow passengers said she became increasingly anxious as the journey continued, and started shouting that she wanted off. However, the coach was on a motorway at the time. It was not permitted to stop, save for emergencies.

Somewhere between Shap and Penrith, passengers saw the woman push against the passenger door in the middle of the lower deck. She couldn't be trying to get off to smoke, could she?

Oh, yes she could!

Police concluded that the coach was traveling approximately sixty miles per hour. Our involuntary non-smoker was crushed beneath its wheels. At that point, the coach did make that hoped-for emergency stop, but life is not fair. Unlike a condemned man, our heroine never did get that last cigarette.

Darwin says, "At the request of family, , I have removed the woman's name, and a cartoon drawing. If anyone knows a mitigating reason why this woman should not be considered a warning to others, I do believe her final epitaph must include not only her her well-described love for friends and family, but also the warning, "Do not step off a moving bus, or smoking will kill."

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Submitted by: charles emberton, Tracy
Reference: BBC News, The Sun,

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