The Darwin Awards

2000 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Crappy Driving Award
2000 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(9 October 1999, Maine) Some men die peacefully in bed, while others suffer less pleasant ends. 23-year-old Benjamin lost his life in one of the most unappetizing manners possible when he careened into a 400,000-gallon tank of raw sewage on Friday night. Police speculated that he was driving his 1998 Mazda pickup much too fast to make the sharp right turn in front of the wastewater treatment plant. He was apparently exceeding the speed limit by a generous margin, as his momentum carried him through a chain link fence, across an easement, and through a low post-and-rail fence surrounding the tank of decomposing sewage. Divers located his body beside his upright pickup on the bottom of the 16-foot deep tank. The autopsy failed to provide a conclusive cause for death, but we speculate they will find he died from "taking too much crap".

(3 March 2000, Pennsylvania) In a related event, Andrew died in a messy farming accident at Crooked Creek Farm when he slipped into a manure spreader. Rescue crews failed to revive him (and who can blame them?) The cause of death was determined to be blunt force trauma. © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by: Christopher and Chuck
Reference: Dawn Gagnon of the Bangor Daily News, WTAJ TV in Altoona, PA


The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
How to escape a sinking car. Nobody plans to wind up in a pit of manure, but you might as well be prepared. The information contained in this book is advice from experts. If your car is sinking, don't count on a bubble of air keeping you alive until rescued. Cars leak air. Roll down the window to equalize water pressure, then get out. Don't wait until you hit bottom or door might get stuck.

"Whatever the calamity, this book tells you what to do.
Parachute doesn't open? Car sinking in manure? Etc.
A mandatory survival manual."

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