Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

1999 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Dead Spitter
1999 Darwin Award Winner Unconfirmed by Darwin

(15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to win a high-altitude spitting contest. The "former" military specialist had a blood alcohol level of 0.14%, paving the way for a well-earned Darwin Award.

He was so intent on victory - and so drunk - that he attempted to employ a dangerous and hitherto-untested technique to add momentum to his saliva. The contender backed away from the window, then hurled himself towards the metal balcony rail while expectorating.

In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum carried him right over the railing, which he grasped fleetingly before plummeting 24' to the concrete below.

There is no report on the status of the payload expelled into the night sky. © 1994 - 2022
Submitted by:
Curtis Salisbury
Reference: Fort Hood Sentinel

Ethan Vessels says, "The story of the spitter is true. However, it was not Fort Rucker but Fort Huachuca, Arizona in 1998. The deceased was atteng a Basic Training course. You can call the military police station and ask them to confirm it. The brass tried to keep it quiet so as not to ruin his funeral."

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