Charles Darwin at a green chalkboard.

2003 Darwin Awards

Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.

Unsafe and Insane
2003 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(2003, Australia) Parents often warn that firecrackers can blow your hand off, but as a 26-year-old Australian learned, they can also remove your gonads from the gene pool. An ambulance rushed to an Illawarra park after receiving reports that a man was hemorrhaging from his behind. The mercifully unidentified man had placed a lit firecracker between the cheeks of his buttocks, stumbled, and fell upon it.

"We do caution people against these acts," said Acting Senior Sergeant John Klepczarek of the local police.

Emergency surgeon Dr. McCurdie said the resulting wound looked like "a war injury." The explosion was forced upward, "blasted a great hole in the pelvis, ruptured the urethra, and injured muscles," rendering the man incontinent as well as sexually dysfunctional. He survived to tell the tale, making him eligible for the dubious honor of a Living Darwin Award.

Darwin notes: The title is a play on words, "Safe and Sane" is a brand of legal firework; insane people cannot actually win Darwin Awards (rules) and this winner doesn't show any signs of insanity.

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Submitted by: Iain
Reference: Illawarra Mercury

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