The Darwin Awards 

Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2000 Personals
One Cool Dude
Excellent Adventure
Emergency Room Excitement
Man With Gas Can
Dead as a Doda
5 Soldiers 6 Police 0 Brains
My Friend John's Testis
Why I'm the Last of Nine Children
Eat the Young
Feces Pieces
A Clean Toilet
Why Kids Leave the Farm
Lawnmower Mechanics
It Gets Worse...
Cesium Initiative
Fill 'er Up!
Is it Loaded?
Final Flick of Bic
Compacted Ignorance
Extensible Aluminum Stave
Robot Reaper
Bug Repellent
Bicycle Blues
Brush with Stupidity
Prop Arc Safety
Surprise Flush
Pop Like a Grape
A Darwin Dog
Round Lake Short Cut
Man Versus Mower
Tourist Trap
Testing the Waters
The Egg Factory
Bye Bye Birdie
Brewery Mishap
Instant Sunrise
Other Personal Years 
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum


2000 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next


It Gets Worse...  
2000 Personal Account

(March 1999, South Africa) I was getting a lift home from a chess tournament, and my friend Jason and his mom were fighting. He got out of the car and ran away, and his mom urged me to chase after him. Trying to show off my pace, I sprinted towards Jason at top speed. Now, I have very weak eyes, and I happened to overlook a chain, which I ran straight into, somersaulted over, and landed on the ground with a nasty cut across my neck.

In shock, I stood up and looked towards the car, feeling faint. I saw Jason's mom running towards me, signaling me to take a step forward. Little did I know there was a steep flight of stairs behind me, formerly protected by the chain barrier. I interpreted her hand movements as a signal to take a step back, which I did.

I fell down all three flights of stairs and landed on some beer bottles. Luckily I was alright, just a bit shaken. But as I stood up, I began to vomit. I put my hands down on the ground -- right onto the broken glass, which lacerated the nerves in my fingers.

Covered with blood, with me crying my eyes out, we started for home. Jason's mom was shaken by the incident, and was driving badly. At a traffic circle, she jumped right over it and we had a traffic accident. The only one injured? Me! © 1994 - 2020

Submitted by: David Swartz

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend © 1994 - 2022