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2000 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next


The Egg Factory  
2000 Personal Account

A story about a moron by a moron

In 1971 I witnessed a mishap so stupid and incredible that whenever I tell it people have trouble believing it. I was employed at the Société Avicole du Québec, an egg processing plant in a small town in Canada. The plant is one big machine, with trucks bringing in millions of fresh eggs at one end, egg cleaning and sorting happening in the middle, and boxes ready for supermarkets coming out the other end.

The dufus in question, nicknamed BingBangBong, was loading trucks in the warehouse using a small motorized forklift. He was always boasting about how fast he was able to load a truck, and whizzing about at full speed carrying pallets of sixty boxes containing fifteen dozen eggs each.

One day, the truck he was loading pulled out before BingBangBong was finished. When he saw that the truck wasn't there anymore, he slammed on the brakes in a panic, but it was too late. I saw the whole thing as if it were in slow motion.

The dock was five feet high. First the load destabilized under the momentum, and the upper crates plunged ten feet to the concrete floor below. Then the front rollers of the forklift went over the ledge, and stuck there for a brief moment. The whole pallet of eggs continued to slide forward and tumble down. The rear of the small vehicle slowly lifted like a sinking ship, and finally everything went over with a crunching noise with BingBangBong smack in the middle of the mess.

Miraculously, he was unhurt. He stood staring at the forklift lying on its side in an omelet of crushed cardboard and 10,800 oozing egg yolks. It took us the rest of the day to clean up the world's biggest accidental omelet, using rubber squeegees on long handles. BingBangBong continued driving machinery, but never at speed. He had learned his lesson. © 1994 - 2020

Submitted by: Charles

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