The Darwin Awards 

Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
1999 Personals
Bridge Bowling
Packing the Wardrobe
Disco Dork
Gangster Blues
Tide-ally Impaired
Bridge Bonzai
Jump Rope Blues
Industrious Brain Dead Private
Train Dodge!
Betrayal of Trussed
Quarry Story
Unkindest Cut of All
Flak Vest Test
Coke, the Real Thing
What a Gas!
Cleaning the Head
Diving Lessons
Polar Bear Lesson
North Pacific Deckpecker
The Iceman Exiteth
Withdrawing Money
Car Surfing
Fun with Forklifts
Cement Punching Bag
Jet Ski Jock
Wives With Chloroform
Leap of Faith
Helium and Oxygen Don't Mix
Elemental Mistake
Newton's Laws of Motion
Accident Waiting to Happen
Breaking the Law
Other Personal Years 
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum


1999 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes deceased) readers. Next


Cement Punching Bag 
1999 Personal Account

This happened in 1969 when I was a student in a small mining town in northern Canada. In late spring, the mining company hired male students to work on clean-up crews on Saturdays. We would clean the town site and the company plant site after the snow melted. The town got several feet of snow in the winter, sometimes ten feet or more. One Saturday, a crew of us was cleaning up around some sheds in the remote areas of the plant site. There were a few paper bags of cement standing on the ground, leaning against a shed. They had very likely been out there all winter long, absorbing water from the snow through the bag. Well, one of my crew mates thought of himself as pretty tough, so he swaggered up to the bags, expecting the contents to be the soft powder of uncured cement, and punched one really hard with the intent of splitting it wide open. The bag stayed intact but he broke several bones in his hand on the hard cement.

Darwin says, "The lights are on but no one's home." One day, he's sure to win a Darwin Award. © 1994 - 2020

Submitted by: Herbert Daum

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend © 1994 - 2022