The Darwin Awards 

HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
1999 Personals
Bridge Bowling
Packing the Wardrobe
Disco Dork
Gangster Blues
Tide-ally Impaired
Bridge Bonzai
Jump Rope Blues
Levelled
Trephination
Industrious Brain Dead Private
Train Dodge!
Betrayal of Trussed
Quarry Story
Unkindest Cut of All
Flak Vest Test
Coke, the Real Thing
What a Gas!
Cleaning the Head
Diving Lessons
Polar Bear Lesson
North Pacific Deckpecker
The Iceman Exiteth
Withdrawing Money
Car Surfing
Fun with Forklifts
Cement Punching Bag
Jet Ski Jock
Wives With Chloroform
Leap of Faith
Helium and Oxygen Don't Mix
Elemental Mistake
Newton's Laws of Motion
Accident Waiting to Happen
Breaking the Law
Cat-Astrophe
Other Personal Years 
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  


1999 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes deceased) readers. Next
Prev
Random

 

Leap of Faith 
1999 Personal Account

Back in March of 1966, I was completing my third week of Jump School at Fort Benning, Georgia. I witnessed an incident which, though it could have ended in tragedy, was spectacularly funny nonetheless.

We trainees were repeatedly warned that while we were under silk, floating down, we were to avoid at all costs crossing over another jumper's parachute. One day, after landing, I walked back to the marshalling area and stood watching others make the "leap of faith." Sure enough, right in front of my eyes, one jumper allowed his chute to drift over another jumper's parachute.

The bottom parachute stole the air from the top parachute, which collapsed and set the top jumper down on the bottom jumper's canopy. While the top jumper sat on this jello-like pedestal, his own parachute dropped down and dangled around the bottom jumper. Then the still-inflated bottom parachute deformed, and spit the top jumper off into space.

The falling jumper, in fear for his life, grabbed the risers of the bottom parachute, and slid down them, where he ended up face-to-face with the bottom jumper, who proceeded to pummel the intruder in the face. The other jumper began fighting back, and the brawl continued until they hit the ground in a heap.

The event taught us a serious lesson. But it was still damn funny to watch!

Rebuttal by Bill Bierman of the United States Parachute Association A-18666: "This story has an obvious flaw. An inflated canopy will not support the weight of a human being. So the top jumper certainly could not sit on it. Pictures you may have seen of people standing on another chute is done under a fully inflated canopy which supports the weight, not the parachute they are standing on. Contact your local parachute club or local physics professor for more information."

Submitted by: fenwicke69

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2022