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1999 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes deceased) readers. Next


Betrayal of Trussed 
1999 Personal Account

(30 April 1999) NOTE: Since the potential Awardee survived the incident fully intact except probably for his marriage and his career, this incident is only an At-Risk Survivor.

One night, firefighters rescued a German billionaire businessman from a swiftly moving blaze threatening his suite at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in the German city of Cologne. Big deal, you might say. That's what firefighters are for - to save people from fires. It's just that in this case, they also saved the businessman from a kinky S&M situation straight out of the Marquis de Sade.

The sizzling saga began shortly after midnight, when the tycoon hired a 28-year old dominatrix named "Ramona" to bind, gag, whip, and otherwise humiliate him in his $400-per-night suite. (Golden showers, anyone?) Ramona was really no different from anyone else plying her trade - she was outfitted in fishnet stockings, chain-mesh bra, six-inch spike heels. And she was packing the usual equipment, too - cat-o-nine-tail whips and other nasty sex toys. It would all have been just another session of normal S&M sex, but then a fire broke out in the adjoining suite.

The fire broke out in the $1700-per-night suite occupied by billionaire computer mogul Charles Wang of Wang Computers. While Wang was taking a bath in his sauna, the fire broke out. Unaware of his neighbor's in-progress sex session, Wang tore into the hallway and began warning the other hotel guests to flee. Ramona heard Wang's warning about the fire, and heeded it. She dropped her whip and left her client tied to the bed and unable to call for help. (She wasn't a "stand-up girl" for either normal OR abnormal sex!)

When hotel workers and firefighters began a room-to-room search for endangered guests, they entered Ramona's suite and stumbled across the bizarre scene that looked like something out of a triple-XXX porn flick. Firefighters then stopped laughing long enough to fetch some cutting equipment to free the red-faced, beat-red tycoon, while still battling the flames. Evidently the tycoon's clothing was destroyed and the hotel workers couldn't be stopped from blabbing, either, because, "He was very crimson. People cheered him in the lobby as he ran out with just a sheet wrapped around himself, which certainly added to his embarrassment," a fire department spokesman said. Authorities refused to identify the wealthy executive, other than to say that he was a "senior business executive" with a wife and two children. (Not much longer!) They added that the kinky caper could easily have cost him his life.

The unnamed executive was one of 244 high-powered guests at the Hyatt for an invitation-only business summit, which was also attended by such bigwigs as Ford Motor Vice President Nick Scheele. The $1700-per-night suite where the fire broke out had also been designated to be President Clinton's suite as he attended the E-8 Economic Summit two months later. (Come to think of it, Clinton might have felt right at home there!) © 1994 - 2012

Submitted by: Michael Nollet

Reference: New York Post
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