THE Darwin Awards: Evolutionary Action
The Darwin Awards honor those who tip chlorine into our gene pool, by accidentally removing their own DNA from it during the spectacular climax of a 'great idea' gone veddy, veddy wrong.
The Darwin Awards honor those who tip chlorine into our gene pool, by accidentally removing their own DNA from it during the spectacular climax of a 'great idea' gone veddy, veddy wrong.
(26 August
2006) Haphazard Armor
England | Darren's death was a puzzle. The 33-year-old was found
slumped in the hallway of his house, bleeding from stab wounds. Had
an assailant attacked him? Police could find no supporting
evidence. A year later the Inquest revealed why Darren can take his
place among the stars of the Darwin Awards. Left alone in the house
while his wife was on holiday, he decided to he decided to 'fork
around and find out' if his new jacket was stab-proof...
(August 2017, Japan) Forklift
Around And Find Out
Logistics was uppermost
in the mind of a warehouse employee of Tanarumono
Logistics. The worker needed to change a light bulb ten
meters overhead and the forklift could only reach 2.5 meters, clearly
not close enough. Expressed as a math problem: A person can reach
a light fixture 2 meters overhead — and wants to replace a
lightbulb 10 meters overhead — so how many 15-cm wood pallets
must be stacked onto a 2.5 meter forklift platform, to reach the
burnt bulb?
Title Suggestions From Readers
"The Odds Were Stacked Against Him"
"Jenga Difficultly Level: 10"
"Stack Attack!"
"An Unpalatable Death"
"Pallatative Care"
"Skidmark"
(77%) Out
Of Their Minds
23 August 2007, HOLLAND ||
Darwin notes: "This sort of thing is rare today because
changes were made to vehicles to protect the guilty, but for awhile
there were quite a few incidents reported to the Darwin Awards."
HOLLAND || A group of employees was thrilled to enjoy a
team-building bus tour, and get a break
from BAU (Biz As Usu). It was sunny, and the more boisterous
employees enjoyed sticking their heads out of the rooftop window
like puppies in the wind. And then it happened — two men
were singing lustily as the wind caressed their faces, when the bus
entered a viaduct...
and the Heedless became the Headless. . .
which really isn't a thing, they only snapped their
necks, a quick and painless death and a lesson for the rest of us.
(2 August 2002) Long Lonesome Train
Kansas | Driving along Interstate 35, an Olathe driver's sloppy-jalopy
broke down. Attempts to repair it were futile. So the man pulled out a
cellphone—the mobile's moniker in 2002—and called for a
tow. As he ambled along the railroad tracks parallel to the freeway, he
focused intently on the device (as one does) and was utterly oblivious
to the sound of a train whistle...
The train engineer reported that he covered his left ear
so he could better hear the conversation on his device!
(79%) Count
Your Chickens
Six people drowned Monday while trying to rescue
a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18 year
old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He
drowned, apparently by undercurrent
(77%) Beer
for Bears
Serbia | It's well known that alcohol impairs
judgement. It's well known that carnivorous wild animals and humans
don't mix. What happens when we combine all three...?
(77%) One
Foot In The Pool...
Indonesia | Charles had just completed his
studies at King William's College, and his dreams were ambitious. He
planned retire by the age of 30. Unfortunately for Charles, his
expensive education omitted an important lesson from the
curriculum...
(76%) Hammer
of Doom
Brazil | August brings us a winner from Brazil who
tried to disassemble a Rocket Propelled Grenade by driving back and
forth over it with a car. This technique was ineffective...
(76%) Ride 'Em Cowgirl
In THAT much of a rush? A cautionary tale for those who can't spare
the time to slow down and do things properly. Kentucky Kelita Hicks
was travelling 'at highway speed' down Country Road 519 in her
(76%) Race To The Death
For most people, the danger of fast traffic is obvious; for example
few would be foolish enough to attempt to cross a major Interstate
with 80-mph/130-kph traffic. Rare that anyone dies walking across a
busy street, but then... there is Kevin Ward.
(75%) Darwin
Awards Shorts
These five random snippets were collected from
emails over the past decade. Their origins and veracity are
unknown. A man in a diabetic shock swerved off Route 2 in Lexington,
Mass
(74%) Faithful
Flotation
Gabon | During an impassioned sermon, a congregation
was surprised to hear their 35-year old pastor insist that one could
literally walk on water, if one had enough faith...
(71%) Smarter
Animals
An Iranian hunter was shot to death near Tehran by a
snake that coiled around his shotgun as he pinned the reptile to the
ground. Another hunter reported that that the victim, named Ali,
tried to catch the snake alive by pressing the butt of his shotgun
(70%) Do
It Yourself, Do Yourself In
Ah, summer, the most blissful of
seasons, when Darwin's most popular summertime activity -- do it
yourself stupidity -- kicks into high gear. Meet Charles, 34, a
Denver masonry contractor who works with
(70%) Missed
The Bus
A 24-year-old woman was ironically successful in her
attempt to catch a bus in Quebec City. Clutching a can of pop, the
woman ran into a restricted area...
(69%) Roller-Coaster
Tales
of roller-coaster accidents are the stuff of nightmares. It turns out
that such tragedies are less common than folklore would have us
believe. In The Science of Roller Coasters, Ted Oehmke reveals that there
have been only 42 such deaths in the last 11 years. It
(69%) Intelligence
Blunders
A deadly explosion in the Philippines was linked to
careless NBI agents smoking near a bucketful of dynamite
powder. Remnants of hand grenades, bullets, and weapons were
scattered far and wide...
(69%) Lovestruck
Louis III
Blindly following lust, the world came crashing down
upon the head of King Louis III, overzealous ruler of
Francia. Despite great military success, great loss followed on its
heels when a comely lady caught his eye...
(66%) Lights
Out
On Friday the 13th, Scott and his sister Kimberly had an
electrifying experience while attempting to view the annual Perseid
meteor shower. Scott, an aspiring young astronomer, set up his
telescope for a closer view of the sky. Alas, poor Scott did not
reflect on the
(63%) Resistance
is Futile
A US Navy safety publication describes injuries
incurred while doing don't's. One page described the fate of a sailor
playing with a multimeter in an unauthorized manner. He was curious
about the resistance level
(61%) Wet
Will He
This story sounds like an urban legend, but it's
true. Rodney was jet skiing around Lake Washington, enjoying the sun
and the power between his knees. But he noticed that his battery was
beginning to fail. He idled over to a dock near Juanita Beach Park
(60%) Mental
Eclipse
A 42-year-old man killed himself watching the eclipse
while driving near Kaiserslautern, Germany. A witness driving behind
him stated that the man was weaving back and forth as he concentrated
on...
(57%) A
Rocky Roll
An innovative petty crime spree turned into a
Darwinian opportunity when a Vancouver man fell out of a minivan
while throwing rocks. Five men had been denting mailboxes and moving
cars with their low-tech missiles, when 2
(49%) Show
Off
A 27-year-old man, bent on impressing three boys, dove
into the ocean from an 80-foot cliff. He was knocked unconscious by
the impact with the water and rocks below. One boy climbed down the
cliff and dragged the man from the sea, while his friends called for
help.
(49%) Tired
of it All
Daniel was tired to death - literally -- at the
Buckeye Ford Dealership in London. He had sneaked onto the lot in the
wee hours of the morning with theft on his mind. His modus operandi
was to jack up t
(45%) Sauna
Kills Monk
An elderly Buddhist monk and three of his followers
died after spending hours in a homemade herbal sauna. Five others
remain hospitalized in serious condition. The poorly constructed
sauna had been set up in a basement room in the Bungrasi Buddhist
temple near Bangkok. The group
(28%) Power
Punch Proves Fatal
Ian was a fitness fanatic and self-employed
electrician living in an English seaside town. He had recently
converted one room of his cottage into a new gym. Among the weights
and exercise equipment hung a...
(25 August
2010) Angry Wheelchair Man
As the
video shows, an agrry man is rolling toward an elevator as the doors
close and the lift departs. Annoyed, he reviews his options and
choosed to back up, ram his wheeled chair into the reinforced shaft
doors, and repeat THREE TIMES until literally breaking
through. Plunging down an empty elevator shaft is a weird way to die,
but his perseverence paid off;with a Darwin Award.
Professor William McComas Named 2020 Winner of Prestigious Friend of Darwin Award!! William F. McComas, Parks Family Distinguished Professor of Science Education in the College of Education and Health Professors, named one of the three 2020 winners of the prestigious Friend of Darwin Award for his impact on evolution education.
RESEARCH: Study Supports The Theory That Men Are Stupid. Source of data: Darwin Awards archive.
What a Way to Go: Woman Who Created the Darwin Awards Wants to be a Winner Someday
Cool Safety Infographic from Best Nursing Masters.com
Language evolves! But our culture in its tidy way locks us into a particular spelling for each word, insists on a rigid sentence grammar, on correct pronunciation and not wrong wrong pronunciation. (And anyway why is 'pronunciation' so hard to say?) These artificial constraints on puts a living language into a straightjacket. Discourages us from writing 'thru' and 'donut' and b/c -- the offical ('offal') language is tedious, cumbersome, a fading snapshot. Bejeezus!
Would a Dodo make a
great Darwin Award medallion? Think: "You're extinct, ya stupid dodo!"
Cool idea... but
<cough> calling Dodo dumb does not sit well with me. The bird
was a meek member of the Pigeon Family, easy to catch and eat, and
extincted by man in 1691 only 100 years after its 'discovery'. This
lovable
dodo picture may help us see our behavior clearly. Human ate the last
dodo. Humans
are devouring every bit of the biosphere.
"Dumb as a Dodo" meet "Slow as a Sapien"