(24 January 2014, California) The Mountain View man arrived in Santa Cruz
with boogie board and flippers and headed into the Pacific Ocean, just like
plenty of other people who swim and surf at coastal beaches. But rocky
cliffs line the north end the Monterey Bay! Surfers--sane
surfers--avoid the dangerous areas where waves are liable to sweep swimmers
against the cliffs, and instead school in spots with tasty waves but few
rocks and rogues.
"Universe to Zenk! You are about to die!"
The Pacific Ocean is larger than all of Earth's land area combined. You
just don't play on the surface of the mighty Pacific without asking around
regarding good swim spots, and using your eyeballs to notice where others
are surfing and swimming. If our Darwin Award Winner had done so... But he
did not. Thus it came to pass that a witness saw Boogie Board Boy paddling
in an area where people DO NOT SWIM and placed a call to 911.
Santa Cruz Fire already had patrols scouting the seas due to a high surf
advisory that Friday warning of swells up to 13 feet. Lifeguards on
personal watercraft zoomed over to warn Zenk about the dangerous surf and
suggest that he move over. This message from the Universe, "Hey, you are
about to die!" was ignored. Zenk waved off the sound advice, and calmly
continued kicking and paddling along.
Not long after that warning whooshed over his head, a set of waves came in
and whooshed over his head, slamming him into the rocks. Swimmers sent to
save him... could not. He was pronounced dead at Dominican Hospital. The
Pacific Ocean carried on about its business.
"Rock on dude... Dude on a rock!"
"YEA! We win again!" -male reader
"Zenks but no zenks for the warning."
"Spoiler alert, everyone who wins a Darwin award dies."
"In other news: Scientists say the Sun rises in the East. Film
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: Samuel Lavine
Reference: Santa Cruz Sentinel