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2018 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

 
 
Karmic Valentine Schadenfreude  
2018 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

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Dead On Valentines Day
"He who cannot put his thoughts on ice should not enter into the heat of dispute." -Friedrich Nietzsche>

(14 February 2018, Berlin Germany) A 19-year-old demonstrated spectacular FAIL at keeping romance alive. He and his soon-to-be-ex were quarreling as they walked along the beautiful Havel River. The frustrated man suddenly shoved the woman into the icy river, jumping in to push her under again and again!

But she could swim. He could not...

She swam safely to land and quickly recovered from hypothermia. He sank and lost consciousness in the 2°C waters, forever forgetting the quarrel, and was pulled out by water police and transported to Charité Virchow Clinic in Berlin. The attacker fell into a carceral coma, while an arrest warrant was issued against him for attempted murder with malice aforethought.

The crime was committed on December 19th, and the perpetrator died on February 14th--an ironic date indeed--from irreversible brain damage.

Usually no Darwin Award is granted when an innocent bystander is injured. In this case we make a rare exception, because the woman fully recovered (and is perforce better off without this madman) while the diabolical and drowned deed-doer was Darwinian-dumb.

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