The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2008 Darwins
Santa Ignorância
Payback
A One Track Mind
An Illuminating Story
Rub the Mint
Pining Away
Wascally Wabbit
Merry Pranksters
Boner!
Chemistry Went To Her Head
On the Piste
Thou Shalt Not Steel
Not a Shred of Sense
Pierced!
Clotheslined!
One Foot In The Pool...
Pillar Of Strength
Going to Seed
Not Fast Enough Food
Slippery When Wet
A Screw Loose
Low Flying Drunks
Into the Abyss
Wheel Of Fortune
Shopping Cart Crash
Killer Fuel Economy
Organ Donors
Other Darwin Years 
2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2008 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Santa Ignorância
(Padre Baloneiro)
(Balloon Priest)
2008 DARWIN AWARD WINNER
Confirmed True by Darwin


Adelir Antonio, 51,
was not so lucky.
(Video)

(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean) A Catholic priest recently ascended to heaven on a host of helium balloons, paying homage to Lawn Chair Larry's aerial adventure. In 1982, Lawnchair Larry attached 45 weather balloons to his lawnchair, packed a picnic lunch, and cut the tether--but instead of drifting above Los Angeles babescape as planned, he was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the hefty lift of the balloons!

Astoundingly, Larry survived the flight, inspiring the movies Up! and Deckchair Danny, and also inspiring Father Adelir Antonio, 51.

This priest's audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered balloon flight was intended to publicize his plan to build spiritual rest stops for truckers. But as truckers know, sitting for 19 hours is not a trivial matter even in the comfort of your own lawn chair.

The priest did take numerous precautions, including wearing a survival suit, flying a buoyant chair, packing a satellite phone and GPS. However, the late A.A. made a fatal mistake -- he did not know how to use the GPS.

The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he finally phoned for help--but rescuers were unable to determine his location since he could not use his GPS. He struggled with the unit as the charge on the cellphone dwindled and died.

Instead of a GPS, the Priest let God be his guide.

Over the next few weeks, bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches, indicating that God had guided him straight to heaven. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he had indeed paid a visit to his boss.

The kicker? It's a Double Darwin. Catholic priests take vows of celibacy. Since priests voluntarily remove themselves from the genepool, the entire group earns a mass Darwin Award. Adelir Antonio wins twice!

MEDIA REFERENCESS: (1) (2) (3)

NOTE: Formal Closure of Rest Stops Decried.
Rest Stops Urgently Needed in the area!
Adelir Antonio was doing good in his life.

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by: Marilia J, Davida Miller, Richard Moseley, and 20 more
Reference: globo.com, Sydney Morning Herald, Associated Press, and numerous others

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!

Darwin says: "A hot air balloon is maneuvered by altering altitude. The wind direction changes as one ascends (generally toward the right in the northern hemisphere) so a skillful pilot can use altitude to shift the downwind track. (airborneballoons.co.uk)
By comparison, a mass of individual balloons is completely at the mercy of the wind. The balloons used by the priest were described as party balloons, which are far more fragile than the weather balloons used by Lawn Chair Larry."

"Cluster Balloon Flight can be affordably yours!" syas Jonathan R Trappe, self-styled Aeronaut and Cluster Balloon Flight Expert.

Reader Comments:
"One way ticket to paradise."
"to heaven--or bust"
"There but for the grace of Tecumseh..."
"Don't get too carried away."
"Chairway to Heaven?"
"God's will be done!"
"God Supports Darwin!"
"Sorry about your loss. On a brighter side, you could have lost this guy..."
"A story showing the danger of relying on GPS."
"Fly me to the moon!"
"How many balloons do you think you'll be needing?"
"Anyone you want to give balloons to?"
"They did not teach aerodynamics at the seminary."
"See what happens when you don't get laid enough?" "This is one for the 'believers'."


THE DARWIN AWARDS PRESENT:
More on Jonathan R Trappe
On May 28, Jonathan R Trappe crossed
the English Chanel under the pull of outlandishly large colored balloons, in
a colorful HOMAGE to Priest Adelir Antonio's Darwin Award-winning flight
above the Atlantic Ocean in 2008, and Larry Walters' lawnchair-balloon flight into
LAX airspace in 1982.

Self-styled "Cluster Balloon Flight Expert" Trappe landed in France on Friday, 28 May 2010. Trappe flew from from Challock, England, to Moeres, France in a chair attached to helium balloon. Trappe had previously set a record for the longest free-floating balloon flight: 14 hours in the skies above North Carolina. (AP Photo/Gareth Fuller-pa)

Jonathan Trappe is *not* a Darwin Award candidate. The balloons used by Trappe were strong custom-made balloons approximately the size and strength of weather balloons. His flight was not nearly as dangerous as the party balloon flight taken by the Balloon Priest (above) and Lawnchair Larry.

Father Adelir Antonio (left) flew a lawnchair pulled by hundred of party balloons in an effort to earn donations for trucker rest stops in Brazil. Unfortunately... he neglected to learn how to use his GPS.

Larry Walters (right) was a frustrated failed pilot who simply wanted to drift over his SoCal neighborhood. Larry was the first human being to actually tie party balloons to a lawnchair and take off. His maiden flight unexpectedly rocketed him 10,000 feet into LAX airspace! Astoundingly, he survived.

To our mind, these two men are the real heroes. They were not pursuing personal aggrandizement. Larry was in the grips of a visionary muse; Father Antonio was courageously raising money for a meaningful cause. The Darwin Awards salutes these heroic balloon flight pioneers!

Previous Directions Next

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend