The Darwin Awards

2007 Darwin Awards

Next Prev Random Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it.

Four Great Ideas
2007 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed by Darwin

(25 March 2007, Oregon) Anthony was stopped for speeding. The 20-year-old was driving a vehicle that checked out as stolen in Idaho. The deputy called for backup, and placed the suspect in a patrol car. Here, Anthony had his first great idea! He thought he could outsmart the police, a notion that often proves harmful to the perp.

While the officers had their backs turned, Anthony managed to move his handcuffed hands from behind to in front of his body. His second great idea was to wiggle through the small window to the front seat of the patrol car. His third great idea? He drove off in the patrol car, nevermind the State Police officers and deputies from two counties.

Naturally, Anthony wished to elude pursuit. He did so by driving 90 mph, passing some cars and forcing others off the road. He was rapidly approaching the city of Lakeview when he encountered spike strips placed in his way by the police. But not even the setback of flat tires slowed him down. He could still control the disabled car and outrun the police!

We will never know what he might have done if he had reached Lakeview. Just before he reached town, a state policeman following standard procedure rammed the rear quarter panel of the stolen police cruiser, a move designed to spin and slow the car. But due to the flat tire and Anthony's erratic driving, the vehicle spun off the road and rolled.

Anthony's final mistake? He had neglected to fasten his seat belt. He was thrown from the car, and died a week later. Whether or not he managed to learn anything during that final week of reflection, one hopes that others will.

ORIGINAL SUBMISSION

Reader Comments:
Jeff Shultz says, "My friend and Army Reserve co-worker confirms this story. He is in the Oregon State Police (not State Patrol.) He said, "An Oregon State Police Trooper performed the PIT maneuver and rolled the guy. He had no choice in the matter. [The perpetrator] had already proven he had no thoughts of safety for other people at all. The state trooper rolled him just before he made it into town. The only error is that he is with the State Police, not State Patrol.'" Jan-2010
Darwin says, Thanks for the confirmation, Jeff.

Share

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: Rick Sonerholm

Previous Directions Next