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Darwin Awards
2007 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Four Great Ideas
2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(25 March 2007, Oregon) Anthony was stopped for speeding. The 20-year-old was driving a vehicle that checked out as stolen in Idaho. The deputy called for backup, and placed the suspect in a patrol car. Here, Anthony had his first great idea! He thought he could outsmart the police, a notion that often proves harmful to the perp.

While the officers had their backs turned, Anthony managed to move his handcuffed hands from behind to in front of his body. His second great idea was to wiggle through the small window to the front seat of the patrol car. His third great idea? He drove off in the patrol car, nevermind the State Patrol officers and deputies from two counties.

Naturally, Anthony wished to elude pursuit. He did so by driving 90 mph, passing some cars and forcing others off the road. He was rapidly approaching the city of Lakeview when he encountered spike strips placed in his way by the police. But not even the setback of flat tires slowed him down. He could still control the disabled car and outrun the police!

We will never know what he might have done if he had reached Lakeview. Following standard procedure, a state patrolman rammed the rear quarter panel of the stolen police cruiser, a move designed to spin and slow the car. But due to the flat tire and Anthony's erratic driving, the vehicle spun off the road and rolled.

Anthony's final mistake? He had neglected to fasten his seat belt. He was thrown from the car, and died a week later. Whether or not he managed to learn anything during that final week of reflection, one hopes that others will.

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Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

 


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