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Darwin Awards
2007 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Four Great Ideas
2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(25 March 2007, Oregon) Anthony was stopped for speeding. The 20-year-old was driving a vehicle that checked out as stolen in Idaho. The deputy called for backup, and placed the suspect in a patrol car. Here, Anthony had his first great idea! He thought he could outsmart the police, a notion that often proves harmful to the perp.

While the officers had their backs turned, Anthony managed to move his handcuffed hands from behind to in front of his body. His second great idea was to wiggle through the small window to the front seat of the patrol car. His third great idea? He drove off in the patrol car, nevermind the State Patrol officers and deputies from two counties.

Naturally, Anthony wished to elude pursuit. He did so by driving 90 mph, passing some cars and forcing others off the road. He was rapidly approaching the city of Lakeview when he encountered spike strips placed in his way by the police. But not even the setback of flat tires slowed him down. He could still control the disabled car and outrun the police!

We will never know what he might have done if he had reached Lakeview. Following standard procedure, a state patrolman rammed the rear quarter panel of the stolen police cruiser, a move designed to spin and slow the car. But due to the flat tire and Anthony's erratic driving, the vehicle spun off the road and rolled.

Anthony's final mistake? He had neglected to fasten his seat belt. He was thrown from the car, and died a week later. Whether or not he managed to learn anything during that final week of reflection, one hopes that others will.

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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 


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