Do you really want to know about The Enema Within?
(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary
alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor, well, rectally.
His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this
manner. The result was the same: inebriation.
The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful
throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema.
And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles
of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!
When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass
out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol
remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning,
Michael was dead.
The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to
toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.
In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from
the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres
of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly,
his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.
Slashdot Discussion in which we learn that alcohol enemas are all
around us! Apparently the alcohol absorbs more quickly through the
capillary beds of the rectum, a fact exploited by many party animals."
"Drunk off my ass."
"Takes shit-faced to a whole new level."
"He earned the Award, no ifs ands or butts about it."
"This puts a new light on the old saying. 'Up Yours Mate!'"
"Up the hatch."
"What a bummer."
"Rectum? Hell no it killed him."
"In the end, no drinks for me, thanks."
"A drop never touched his lips."
"Texas is back in the lead!"
"Beware what lies beneath."
"Never again will I look at a tableful of liquor at a party and think,
'Damn, that's an assload of booze.'"
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by: grimreaper
Reference: Houston Chronicle, Seattle PI, TheAge.com, Reuters