The Darwin Awards 

2003 Darwin News
Unsafe and Insane
Ultimate Quest for Airtime
Dying for a Ciggie
Workin' at the Car Wash
Love Struck
Slaughterhouse Robbery
Second Time's the Charm
Jack Up
Hurricane Blumpkin
Pancake Thief
A Honey of a Buzz
Killer Shades
Exploding Ex-tortionist
Sharp Landing
Tree Hard, Head Empty
Master Welder
Shooting Blanks
Asphalt Tattoo
Self-Demolition Derby
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2003 Darwin Awards
Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Tree Hard, Head Empty  
2003 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(17 February 2003, New York) A 25-year-old man, long accustomed to annoying neighbors by snowmobiling at high speeds through sleeping streets, finally received his comeuppance -- and in the process, a Darwinian nomination -- when he drove headfirst into a tree.

It is not only his reckless speeding through a nighttime residential area that makes him eligible; nor is it merely because he was driving an unregistered, uninsured snowmobile without a helmet while drunk. Although these spectacularly stupid ideas were ultimately responsible for his demise, there is yet another relevant aspect to report.

Brian "The Brain" was a fireman, a member of the same company dispatched to peel him off the tree, the same organization that preaches snowmobile safety; responds to other gruesome, drunken snowmobile "accidents, and the very same company that posts an illuminated "helmet safety" notice 700 feet from his own home.

Clearly, while others have been as foolish as Brian in their choice of recreational activities, few have been so uniquely aware of the possible repercussions prior to making that choice!

Reader Comments:
"Ah, will we see his like again..."
"I don't think a helmet would have helped the last smart cell in his brain escape this one." © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: Melissa Parent
Reference: Personal account of Melissa Parent, Associated Press,,

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