(15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained
from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to win a high-altitude
spitting contest. The "former" military specialist had a blood alcohol
level of 0.14%, paving the way for a well-earned Darwin Award.
He was so intent on victory - and so drunk - that he attempted to employ
a dangerous and hitherto-untested technique to add momentum to his saliva.
The contender backed away from the window, then hurled himself towards the
metal balcony rail while expectorating.
In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum carried him right over the
railing, which he grasped fleetingly before plummeting 24' to the concrete
below.
There is no report on the status of the payload expelled into the night
sky.
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Dead Spitter
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