The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
1999 Darwins
Living on Zionist Time
Fatal Footsie
Gone Fishin'
Hurricane News Junkie
Darwin Awards Shorts
Copper Caper
Up In Smoke
Dead Spitter
Sink the Cue Ball
Burmese Python
The Bumbershoot
Smarter Animals
Firefighters Ignite!
The Winner Gets... a Post Mortem
Go Speed Racer Go
Flames of Passion
Roller-Coaster
Peeper Plummets
Intelligence Blunders
Walking on Water
Shell Shot
Dum Dum Boutique
Snake Charmer?
Lights Out
Laughing Gas
What's New Pussycat?
Maine Chainsaw Romance
Yosemite Hike
Rob Your Neighbor
Resistance is Futile
Breatharianism
Love Crushed Sex
Good Trumps Evil at Church
Wet Will He
Power of Satan?
Sex and Suffocation
Mental Eclipse
Liposuction Tragedy
Hard Work Rewards
Wild Animal Lesson
Stay With the Herd!
Ur-inate-iot
Yosemite Parachute Safety
Fatal Footwear Fashion
Wiped Out
Killer Whale Rodeo
That Sinking Feeling
Avoiding a Fight
Show Off
Sleepfalling
Poisonous Pets
Sauna Kills Monk
Silenced by the Lambs
Paragliding vs. Parasailing
Other Darwin Years 
2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
1999 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next
Prev
Random

 
 
Dead Spitter 
1999 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to win a high-altitude spitting contest. The "former" military specialist had a blood alcohol level of 0.14%, paving the way for a well-earned Darwin Award.

He was so intent on victory - and so drunk - that he attempted to employ a dangerous and hitherto-untested technique to add momentum to his saliva. The contender backed away from the window, then hurled himself towards the metal balcony rail while expectorating.

In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum carried him right over the railing, which he grasped fleetingly before plummeting 24' to the concrete below.

There is no report on the status of the payload expelled into the night sky.

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by:
Curtis Salisbury
Reference: Fort Hood Sentinel

Ethan Vessels says, "The story of the spitter is true. However, it was not Fort Rucker but Fort Huachuca, Arizona in 1998. The deceased was atteng a Basic Training course. You can call the military police station and ask them to confirm it. The brass tried to keep it quiet so as not to ruin his funeral."

Previous Directions Next

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend