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2001 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random


Regular & Extra Crispy
2001 Personal Account

(2001) I own a family entertainment center with arcade and video games. We occasionally replace out-of-date games, and dismantle the old ones into pieces small enough to toss in the dumpster out back.

One day I gave our two intrepid game room employees, nicknamed Podunk and Donut after their radio call signs, the task of destroying two outmoded games. The first game was sent to Atari heaven with no fuss, thanks to a 5-pound sledgehammer. The second game was more obstinate. The boys broke the handle of the sledgehammer against it.

So Podunk and Donut decided to heave heavy cinderblocks at it. But that only succeeded if you consider broken cinderblocks a success. They tried ramming the game with a car, which did little but damage the vehicle's front end. Brute force was getting them nowhere fast.

In the interest of safety, speed, efficiency, and a minimum of wear and tear on their tools, they decided to burn the game down.

Podunk filled the interior of the game with fumes from an aerosol can, while Donut manned the cigarette lighter. You can guess the rest. Both employee's sustained second degree burns to their arms and faces, and the game cabinet is still alive and well.

Now the boys have new names: Regular and Extra Crispy. © 1994 - 2020
Submitted by: Tom Childs

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