The Darwin Awards 

Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2001 Personals
Miracle Mile
Medical Misadventures
Tube Snake
Parachute Catch
Horsing Around
Monkey Business
Regular & Extra Crispy
Fleas of Fire
Real Science
Flat Fix Fizzles
Got a Match?
Uncle Rick's End
Power Over Plate Glass
Accident Prone
Workin' on the Railroad
Theoretical Knowledge
Other Personal Years 
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum


2001 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random


Fleas of Fire  
2001 Personal Account

In about 1985 on a street named Jupiter, the local papers covered a story about Hans. Hans was a single man living on the top floor of a three story block of flats. He was a trained in welding -- a job requiring knowledge of flammable and compressed gasses, which makes this story all the more remarkable.

Hans volunteered to make a temporary home for his sister's cat and, apparently, a load of fleas. After the cat returned to his sister, the fleas remained and began to drive him crazy. He asked for advice and was told to treat the apartment with flea spray.

For some reason he chose a more drastic approach and bought 10 cans of fly spray. He sealed off all the windows and doors using duct tape, and Hans proceeded to puncture all tens cans and leave the building while they spewed their pressurized contents.

When the pilot light ignited the vaporous propane/butane mix, the result was a giant explosion which removed his apartment from the building and caused over a million guilders of damage to the neighboring flats. Glass was thrown far and wide and cars were destroyed by flying debris.

The big winners were the fleas, which were not only unharmed by the gas and the blast, but were also spread onto all the neighboring cats and dogs.

Incidentally, many people offered to help make Hans a Darwin Award winner by removing him and his genes from circulation, but as far as we know only his reputation and flat were damaged. © 1994 - 2020
Submitted by: Andrea Mica

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend © 1994 - 2022