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The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. |
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(August 2002, Texas) My Cosmetology School instructor was answering questions concerning the common problem of head lice, when she told us the story of a woman who caught the little parasites while working at a day care center.
After consulting with her mother and grandmother, the woman decided to stop by the local gas station instead of the local drug store. You see, an old wives tale holds that soaking one's hair and scalp in gasoline will kill the bugs. To some extent, it is true; however, lice are not the only creatures liable to suffer damage during this procedure. After soaking her head in gasoline, the woman was in the mood for a cigarette. So she carefully washed her hands, covered her hair with a towel, and stepped outside to light up (no pun intended.) Shortly thereafter, the day care worker was no more, although it may be safe to say that she had rid herself of head lice. I do not know which is more disturbing: that this woman was so lacking in common sense as to douse her head in gasoline and light a cigarette, or that she was entrusted with several children's lives on a daily basis.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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