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Darwin Awards
2002 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

Electric Eccentric
2002 Personal Account

It used to be, the dumbest thing I ever did was to come out of the kitchen with my hands dripping wet, and reach down to plug in a lamp. I got quite a shock, but the lamp still works. But now there's a new "Dumbest Thing I Ever Did" story.

I was cleaning the greasy range hood over my stove, with a sponge and a bucket of dish soapy water. There I was, scrubbing away, bent partially upside down, when my brother dropped by. He began giving me grief about the improper cleaning method I was using.

I myself was a mess of grime, and my brother sat clean and natty, not lifting a finger, so naturally I became irritated. "How else should I clean it?!"

It turns out that his real concern was the burnt-out light bulb, across which I was sloshing soapy water. The socket was empty, and live.

"Water and electricity don't mix," he said.

I told him, dripping with sarcasm, "Yeah, THAT would be a problem if I were stupid enough to take my wet finger and stick it in the open socket..." which were the last words I heard for five minutes.

I apparently stuck my finger right in the socket...

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185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

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