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Darwin Awards
2002 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

Anchor Man
2002 Personal Account

Mick was helping my father Ken move our family from a 4th-story flat to a house across the road. The two friends, healthy young policemen, discovered that 1960s appliances are extremely heavy. Luckily they were creative thinkers. Why not lower items off the landing using a rope?

Mick was 6'5" and weighed 19 stone (300 pounds) so he was the natural anchorman. He stood some distance from the landing with a rope tied around waist, while Ken stood at the edge of the landing and controlled the speed of the rope with his hands.

The first item they lowered was a refrigerator.

Both men braced their feet against the load, but despite their combined efforts, the refrigerator's speed of descent increased, and the rope began to burn Ken's hands. He finally had to release it. He turned to see Mick racing across the roof towards him--and the edge--at a precipitous speed, screaming profanities and tearing at the ventilation pipes as he tried to halt his mad dash.

Did anyone think to measure the length of the rope? I doubt it, and yet it was miraculously longer than the height of the drop. Each time Ken tells the tale, he cries with laughter--meaning that the refrigerator's progress was arrested when it struck bottom, and Mick stopped a few feet short of a Darwin Award.

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Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

 


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