The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2017 Darwins
One Way Ticket
Pistol Of Justice
503 Server Overload
#ElephantsWantPrivacy
Air Strike Out
Grim Roofer
Other Darwin Years 
2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2017 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Juggle Donuts
Juggle Donuts,Not Grenades!

Not Grenades!
DarwinAwards Mug


#ElephantsWantPrivacy  
2017 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

 

(18 February 2017, Zimbabwe) Three male humans, three male elephants, and a dream of a perfect wildlife selfie combine to win to the first 2017 Darwin Award! In the town of Plumtree in southwestern Zimbabwe, Mr. Moses Ndlovu spotted three elephants in the bush. "Shrubbery! This will not do," he thought, and he and two friends began to drive the three male elephants into a clearing. The elephants cooperated, in a fashion.

A large bull elephant and two younger males came charging out of the shrubbery and headed for the provoking men! It was time to test the old truism, "I don't have to outrun that elephant, I just have to outrun you" The men took off running, each frantic to save his own hide. Moses, lagging behind, was trampled to death by the angry bull while his friends escaped.

The entire blunder was a pointless waste of time for man and beast. I am sorry you are dead, Moses Ndlovu, but what were you thinking? As a consolation, your lamentable death serves as a warning to others: #ElephantsWantPrivacy

---

IRONY FLASH. AndyM and DebRS pointed out that the surname Ndolvu, common in subtribes in Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Malawi, means 'elephant' in the Xhosa language. in Zulu 'indlovu' means 'white elephant.

Reader Comments:
Pat Rick: "Dumbo Trampled Dumbo"
Wendy: "Brings new meaning to 'The Human Race.'"
YogiP: "Beast Mode on."

Dwayne: "Wait! This cannot be! Mr. Moses Ndlovu just sent me an email promising to send 5,000,000 if I help..."

JoeV: "He forgot to type in IDDQD and IDKFA." (A cheat code used in Doom to enable god mode.)

AllenG: "UnbelivaBULL! It was undeniaBULL what the outcome was going to be, it's laughaBULL!"

CarlaS: "He probably ran up on them in 'must'. As I've been told the only time bull elephants congregate is when they are in competition, otherwise they are solitary."

ORIGINAL SUBMISSION

notthebest  0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10  fresh
slownewsday   insightful
Share      

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: David Cohen
Reference: www.africanews.com

Previous Directions Next

Selected From The Darwin Awards Gift Shop @ Zazzle




Purchases Help Fund The Darwin Awards Team

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend