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(1996, Canada) Sleeping residents of Chilliwack were awakened early one
morning by the sound of a small aircraft flying lower than usual. The
engine noise was like a mosquito, zooming too close too quick, then veering
away. What the bleep was going on?
During a bout of heavy drinking that lasted into the wee hours of the
morning, two future Darwin Award nominees realized that although neither
one had a pilot's license nor flight training, they nevertheless knew all
they needed to know to pilot an aircraft. Furthermore, one of the
gentlemen worked at the small local airport and had access to the tarmac.
They drew the obvious conclusion, and decided to take a plane for a drunken
joyride over the city.
They invited two females along for the ride; fortunately, the level-headed
ladies declined.
From idea to execution, the plan evolved quickly. The airport employee
unlocked locked gates; once on the tarmac, the two then managed to break
into a small plane, taxi to the runway, and get it off the ground and into
the sky. They buzzed around in the dark, skimming above the roofs of the
houses, and this random aerial activity went on for an extended period of
time.
Eventually their bladders began to complain, but they no longer remembered
how to find the airport. Disoriented, they attempted to land on the grassy
median between east and west-bound lanes of the Trans-Canada Highway, and
almost made it under the electrical wires that cross the median. Almost.
Where these wires were concerned, fate was not kind. The tail the aircraft
clipped the wires. Instead of making a soft landing on the grassy verge,
the aircraft took a nose-first dive into the ground, killing both
occupants. Only then were the Chilliwack residents able to return to their
dreams.
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Reference: Uncited edition of the newspaper, Chiliwack Progress
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Low Flying Drunks
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