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Darwin Awards
2005 Darwin Awards
Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Email a Friend Mining for Elephants
2005 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(15 February 2005, Rushinga, Zimbabwe) The elephants were trampling Christian's maize field, which he had planted on an elephant trail of long standing. He had to find a way to fight back! Fortunately, there was an old minefield nearby, on the Zimbabwe-Mozambique border. Christian figured a few landmines planted around his field would soon teach the elephants a lesson they would never forget.

Christian may have gotten the idea of using the mines from a couple of incidents that had recently transpired. A local resident had been injured after picking up a landmine while herding cattle the week before. A week before that, another Rushinga man had lost part of his leg after stepping on a landmine. The other villagers saw the writing on the wall, and avoided the landmines.

But Christian realized they were just what he needed. Clearly, these mines could cause great damage to an elephant! He dug up five that had been exposed by recent heavy rains. As he carried them home, the unstable mines detonated, killing Christian instantly.

Then total number of elephants injured? Zero.

Reader Comments:
"Swords into plowshares..."
"Not the best laid plan."
"An electric fence never occurred to him?"
"Elephants 1, Villagers 0. Human stupidity rules again."
"An example of karmic retribution."
"Wildlife Conservation Measures in Zimbabwe"

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
Submitted by: Douglas Ball
Reference: The Zimbabwe Herald

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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest

Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.
$15
The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.

Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head!

123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more.

Autographed by Author!

 


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