The Darwin Awards 

2002 Darwin News
Shoot 'em Off
Faulty Aim Fatal
Firecracker Chainsaw Massacre
What's That Sound?
Tied Off
Human Torch
Wounded Wire Bites Back
Bees 1, Humans 0
Wrong and Wronger
Border Crossing
Chainsaw Insurance
Slip Sliding Away
Return to Trees Fails
The Worm Has Turned
Caveat Emptor
Saw a Grenade
Rocket Tester
Truck Stop
Romanian Trains
Jet Taxi
Losing Face
Booby Traps Trap Boob
I Can't Swim!
Fir Tree Trimmer
A Rocky Roll
Mechanic Mayhem
Depth of a Fisherman
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2002 Darwin Awards
Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Border Crossing  
2002 Darwin Award Winner
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(March 2002, Hungary) Because of the threat of nuclear smugglers from ex-USSR countries, Hungarian border guards working the Ukraine border are responsible for more than passport control. Even the smallest border stations have Geiger-Muller detector gates, which resemble empty doorframes like the metal detectors at airports. But instead of metal, they detect radioactive materials.

A man with a backpack arrived at the border. He seemed a bit dizzy, maybe drunk, but vodka is cheap in the Ukraine and drunken men are common in this area. The man was instructed to pass through the Geiger-Muller detector gate. Although he seemed a bit anxious, finally he obeyed -- and the gate signalled an urgent alert. One glance at the dosimeter, and people were running for their lives. The man was hot!

The Hungarian army dispatched an ABC (Atomic-Biological-Chemical) reconnaissance vehicle to investigate and decontaminate the scene. The soldiers found the man sprawled facedown, dead, a few steps away from the gate. They turned the body over and found a large wound burnt into his stomach. The moron had taped a chunk of a radioactive substance to his body!

They found a discarded nuclear waste canister on the Ukrainian side of the border. If the man hadn't removed the contents and hidden it under his clothing, neither the gate nor the border guards would have spotted what he was carrying. He would still be alive today, but perhaps others would not.

Debate on the Veracity of This Account © 1994 - 2017
Reference: An anonymous reader, from a Hungarian IP address.

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