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| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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Darwin and Newton share a laugh... Chihuahua, Mexico is home to two hot caverns containing the largest natural crystals known to man. "Walking into either of these caves is like stepping into a (sweltering) gigantic geode," described one awed observer. Some of the clear selenite crystals are over 20 feet long. The newly-discovered caverns, 1200 feet below the surface of the earth, carry a curse for those who seek to plunder their riches. A man recently tried to steal one of the magnificent crystals from the roof, and might have succeeded... if he hadn't stood directly beneath it while chopping it free. He was pinned beneath the sparkling stalactite as it heeded the call of gravity, and roasted in the 108 F cave.
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Mika Twoleaf says, "The gentleman in question was not crushed to death by the crystal; rather, he was to the ground and could not budge the crystal to extricate himself. The temperature in the cave exceeds 108 degrees F and he was actually cooked in place in this natural oven. He was found by the military guard making his rounds. To be precise, this Darwin Award winner was parboiled out of the gene pool by his own stupidity. I helped remove the pile of meat with the military personnel. Another volunteer noted that he would be the type to sit on a branch before cutting it off next to the tree." Reader Comments: |
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The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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