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| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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(24 June 2000, Shizuoka, Japan) 50cc scooters are a common site on Japan's busy streets. They are meant for one rider and one rider alone. There is a law against riding double and violators of this law are subject to a fine. Whether it was an attempt to avoid the law, save transportation costs, or just a show of bravado, three fifteen year old boys decided to ride triple -- yes, triple -- on a scooter. Their ability to accomplish this feat on a small scooter proves that what they lacked in intelligence they more than made up for in dexterity and adventurous spirit. Not one of them possessed a license to drive any vehicle whatsoever, nor did any have the sense to wear a helmet, gloves or any form of protective riding gear.
A fifty-two year old driver quickly ended the boys' adventure with the front end of his car. A moment later the boys were airborne at roughly the same speed they were traveling on the scooter, which can reach speeds in excess of 50km per hour. Two of the boys flew into oncoming traffic and were run over by not one but two consecutive cars. All three suffered severe trauma and were pronounced 'Darwin eligible candidates' at the scene of the accident. The police had trouble determining which one of the boys was in control of the scooter at the time of the fatal crash, but we all know that it was the Hands of Stupidity placed firmly on the handlebars and throttle.
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Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection
Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.$15 A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools. This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization. Autographed by Author! |
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