The Darwin Awards 

2000 Darwin News
Shorties: Stupid Human Tricks
Gun Safety Training
The Daily Grind
Fireworks Fiasco
Niagara Falls
Home Grown Chute
Come On In!
Human Popsicle
Stab in the Dark
Fast Food Fatality
Forklift Safety Video
Sand Surfing
Shocking Fall
Crappy Driving Award
Do It Yourself, Do Yourself In
Father Knows Best
Testing Faith
What's That Ringing?
William Tell Overture
Chute Boy
Human Hitching Post
Out With a Bang!
Ostrich Axioms
Settle the Score
Rappin' on Heaven's Door
Short & Sweet
Circular Reasoning
Baby Drives Me Crazy
Two Avalanche Alaskan
Three Clowns on a Scooter
Fantastic Plastic Lover
Elevator Wedgie
Hornet Challenge
High on Grass
Running of the Bulls
Stoned Sleep
Polar Bear Swim
Can Duck Shooters Swim?
Kiss of Death
Duct Tape
Perilous Pose
Tired of it All
A Fell Death
Throwing Stones
Moscow Marauder
Concrete Cylinder Roll
Power Punch Proves Fatal
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2000 Darwin Awards
Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next

The Daily Grind  
2000 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

"He really got caught up in his work."
(01 March 2000, Maine) The owner of the Carrier Chipping Company inadvertently reproduced the chilling climactic scene in the movie Fargo, and was rent asunder by his own wood chipper.

The chipper, affectionately known as the "Hog," will take birch or maple logs up to 24 inches in diameter and reduce them to 3/4" chips of wood. Employees were working late to make up for time spent repairing equipment malfunctions earlier in the day. When the Hog jammed, Michael climbed the conveyor belt feeding the chipper and used a rake to break up the bark jam in the chute.

Director C. William Freeman of the Bangor Occupational Safety and Health Administration said, "Generally, our experience (of fatal accidents involving chippers) has found two causes: inadequate machine guarding, or a failure to institute an effective lockout-tagout program when someone is unjamming pieces of equipment." Apparently Michael was not a proponent of lockout-tagout procedures. His efforts were directed against a machine that was still in operation.

The Skowhegan resident was somewhat the worse for the wear after his passage through the Hog. Police Chief Butch Asselin said that the remains would be subjected to DNA analysis for a positive ID, and added "I hope I never, ever see anything like this, ever again. I had a hard time sleeping last night." © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: Douglas Baugher, Jim Sweet, Mark O. Van Valkenburgh
Reference: Joe Rankin of Blethen Maine Newspapers Inc., and Kennebec Journal

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