The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
1999 Darwins
Living on Zionist Time
Fatal Footsie
Gone Fishin'
Hurricane News Junkie
Darwin Awards Shorts
Copper Caper
Up In Smoke
Dead Spitter
Sink the Cue Ball
Burmese Python
The Bumbershoot
Smarter Animals
Firefighters Ignite!
The Winner Gets... a Post Mortem
Go Speed Racer Go
Flames of Passion
Roller-Coaster
Peeper Plummets
Intelligence Blunders
Walking on Water
Shell Shot
Dum Dum Boutique
Snake Charmer?
Lights Out
Laughing Gas
What's New Pussycat?
Maine Chainsaw Romance
Yosemite Hike
Rob Your Neighbor
Resistance is Futile
Breatharianism
Love Crushed Sex
Good Trumps Evil at Church
Wet Will He
Power of Satan?
Sex and Suffocation
Mental Eclipse
Liposuction Tragedy
Hard Work Rewards
Wild Animal Lesson
Stay With the Herd!
Ur-inate-iot
Yosemite Parachute Safety
Fatal Footwear Fashion
Wiped Out
Killer Whale Rodeo
That Sinking Feeling
Avoiding a Fight
Show Off
Sleepfalling
Poisonous Pets
Sauna Kills Monk
Silenced by the Lambs
Paragliding vs. Parasailing
Other Darwin Years 
2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
1999 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. NextPrev
Random

 
 
Darwin Awards Shorts 
1999 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin

These five random snippets were collected from emails over the past decade. Their origins and veracity are mostly unknown.

(10 August 1999) A man in a diabetic shock swerved off Route 2 in Lincoln, Massachusetts. His car plowed through a telephone pole and impacted a tree, where it burst into flames. Onlookers took him for dead, and were shocked to see him walk away from the crash unhurt. However, when he looked back and noticed that his car was on fire, he tried to put it out, and electrocuted himself on one of the high voltage power lines that had fallen when he hit the telephone pole.
Confirmed by Seth W. Towle who located it in the Lincoln Journal. Disputed by Msuper69 who protests that them man was suffering from hypoglycemia and didn't know what he was doing, therefore should not be considered for a Darwin Award.

Police in London, Ohio say a thief was killed while stealing tires from a Ford dealership. Employees found the body of Daniel Nolan, 47, when they arrived for work Monday morning. The jack holding up a truck slipped and crushed him.

 

Slovenia's state-run news agency reported the death of fisherman Franc Filipic, 47, who drowned after hooking a huge lake sheatfish and refusing to let go as he waded in and was pulled under. Friends reported his last words were "Now I've got him!" Divers found his body after a two-day search

In a delicious serving of poetic justice, RJ Reynolds, the founder of RJ Reynolds Tobacco Co., his son, RJ Reynolds II, and HIS son, RJ Reynolds III, all perished from lung cancer.

A 23-year-old bar-brawling man, who had been escorted out of the Turtle Club in Florida by a bouncer, sneaked back in and leaped off a staircase, trying to kick another man, but was killed when he landed on his head. The kick was ineffectual.

DarwinAwards.com 1994 - 2004

Previous Directions Next

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend