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1999 Darwin Awards
| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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Lights Out
Having already proven to be a poor astronomer, Scott proceeded to show that he was not much of an electrician, either. Bothered by the glare of a nearby streetlight, he broke into the base of the light pole and attempted to sever the 4000-volt power cord. He was pronounced dead at Hoag Memorial Hospital shortly after his spectacularly aborted skywatching attempt. At 1AM on Friday, Scott used pliers to pry open an inspection plate at the base of the streetlight, then sawed into the 2-centimeter wire. Kimberly saw a flash knock him onto his back. Scott had the technical know-how to construct a computer from scratch or wire a burglar alarm. "He was trying to solve a problem and not using his head, and he made a mistake," grieved the dead man's father. "He didn't realize the power." A spokesman for Southern California Edison said, "This is another example of why you shouldn't tamper with electricity if you don't know what you're doing." A friend of Scott's remarked, "Scott had a itch for doing things with his hands. He has done many dangerous things. This time he made a fatal mistake." Another friend said, "Don't confuse bravery with stupidity." There are no shooting stars for Scott this Friday the 13th, but he does have a shot at winning a Darwin Award. Lights Out Addition | ||
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Keep yourself out of the gene pool!A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item! Friends don't let friends reproduce! $12 for Pack of 4 |
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