The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
1999 Darwins
Living on Zionist Time
Fatal Footsie
Gone Fishin'
Hurricane News Junkie
Copper Caper
Darwin Awards Shorts
Burmese Python
Sink the Cue Ball
Dead Spitter
Up In Smoke
The Winner Gets... a Post Mortem
Firefighters Ignite!
The Bumbershoot
Smarter Animals
Flames of Passion
Go Speed Racer Go
Peeper Plummets
Roller-Coaster
Shell Shot
Intelligence Blunders
Walking on Water
Dum Dum Boutique
Snake Charmer?
Lights Out
What's New Pussycat?
Laughing Gas
Yosemite Hike
Maine Chainsaw Romance
Resistance is Futile
Breatharianism
Rob Your Neighbor
Love Crushed Sex
Wet Will He
Good Trumps Evil at Church
Power of Satan?
Mental Eclipse
Liposuction Tragedy
Sex and Suffocation
Hard Work Rewards
Wild Animal Lesson
Stay With the Herd!
Ur-inate-iot
Fatal Footwear Fashion
Yosemite Parachute Safety
Killer Whale Rodeo
Wiped Out
Avoiding a Fight
That Sinking Feeling
Show Off
Poisonous Pets
Sleepfalling
Sauna Kills Monk
Silenced by the Lambs
Paragliding vs. Parasailing
Other Darwin Years 
2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
1999 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next
Prev
Random

 
 
Snake Charmer? 
1999 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(May 1999, Thailand) A man known for his snake catching and charming skills was called to a neighbor's home. They needed an emergency exorcism of a python, which had invaded their dwelling. Hie, 55, rushed into the house in the northern provoke of Uttaradit, and emerged victorious with the snake held aloft in a burlap sack.

He was walking home with the snake, when villagers ran into him and asked to see the python. He pulled the snake from the sack and boldly wrapped it around his neck. The wild python, a five-foot-long coil of solid muscle, constricted around him and began to strangle him.

He screamed for help vainly, for the petrified villagers were afraid to approach the serpent. Within minutes, Hie fell to the ground dead. Local policemen forcibly unwrapped the snake from his neck and placed it in captivity.

 

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by: William A.Warnick, Paul L. Thompson, Mike Passeri, Roger Swift, Eicke Schomann, Deb Toavs
Reference: Reuters, US Government Peace Corps Manual

The following excerpt (now known to be an Urban Legend) is purportedly from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for volunteers working in the Amazon Jungle. It details what to do if an anaconda attacks you. Related to the boa constrictor, the anaconda is the largest snake species in the world. It grows to thirty-five feet in length and weighs 300 to 400 pounds.

1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.

2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another.

3. Tuck your chin in.

4. The snake will begin to nudge and climb over your body.

5. Do not panic.

6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet end - always from the feet end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic!

7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.

8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.

9. Be sure you have your knife.

10. Be sure your knife is sharp.

Todd Cook says: "As an informed Herpetologist, I can tell you that this is not true. Anacondas, boa constrictors and pythons swallow from the head down 99% of the time, almost always after constricting the prey to death. Even if a snake finds a dead animal it will often constrict it to make sure it is dead before eating it."

The Folklore Society firmly debunks this account.

Previous Directions Next

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend