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1999 Darwin Awards
| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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Dum Dum Boutique
| (10 April 1999, New York) Perhaps, as people get older, some folks really should retire from their careers, or so it would seem for one 55-year old burglar. You see, Terrence found new meaning in the term "Hanging around late at the bar" when he never returned home one night. It turned out that he was actually trying to break through the roof's window of a shop, |
called the Dum Dum Boutique -- a catchy name for a clothing shop -- by bending back bars on the window. From this vantage point, he made a commanding move, and jumped into the store through this hole. Unfortunately, his sweater apparently didn't like all that fashion, and, refusing to join him, caught on one of the bent bars, which subsequently strangled him to death. He was found dead at the scene on Saturday morning.
This story re-edited by David |
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Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection
Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.$15 A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools. This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization. Autographed by Author! |
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