The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
1998 Darwins
Ski Theft Backfires
Hanging Around Jail
Guy Gulps Goldfish
Modus Operandi Misfires
Mummy Says, Don't Smoke
Don't Drink and Fly
Dynamite and Boats Don't Mix
Sequined Pastie
Passionate Plunge
Dive to Death
Igniting Fireworks the Easy Way
Wife Tossing in Buenos Aires
Never Too Old for a Darwin Award
Basketball Player Takes a Dunking
Don't Chute the Messenger
Other Darwin Years 
2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
1998 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next
Prev
Random

 
 
Guy Gulps Goldfish 
1998 Darwin Awards Runner Up
Confirmed True by Darwin

(29 January 1998, Ohio) Hungry or just plain stupid? Wednesday was a fateful day for Michael. He was shooting the breeze with a group of buddies, watching a friend clean his fish tank, when the friend complained that one specimen in particular had become a fishy menace. It had outgrown the tank, and was eating other denizens of the aquatic community.

Michael volunteered to assist. He seized the five-inch fish and attempted to swallow it. Unfortunately, the fish continued its predatory ways by sticking in his craw. As he gasped futilely for breath, turned blue, and sank to his knees, his three friends realized that something was amiss. They phoned 911 and informed the dispatcher that Michael had eaten some fish, and was having trouble breathing.

Paramedics were quickly dispatched, and they arrived to find the fish tail still protruding from the victim's mouth. Despite their best efforts neither the fish nor the twenty-three-year-old could be resuscitated. The killer fish had claimed one last victim.

"If I dare you to jump off a bridge and you do it, you're stupid," Police Major Mike Matulavich said. Apparently Michael was not a victim, he was just another Darwin Awards contender.

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by Jerry Bradley, John Colotta, Rob Gabb,
Kevin W. Hecteman
, Yusuf Johnson, J Yates

Previous Directions Next

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend