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2005 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random


A Salty Tale
2005 Personal Account

(September 1998, Idaho) A few people out cow-tipping made so much noise that they woke the farmer. The farmer came running out with a shotgun loaded with rock salt, yelling, "Get out of my fields!" One interloper yielded to an impulse to drop his pants and moon the farmer, offering a bright target in the dark night. The farmer took aim with his shotgun, and pegged him in his butt and testicles!

SIDEBAR: Cow tipping is an activity in which members of our species attempt to prove their superiority over a "lesser" species by sneaking up on an unsuspecting cow sleeping on a hillside, and pushing her over. Laughter ensues among the triumphant humans as the "inferior" animal rolls down the hill, trying to regain its footing.

The wounded man managed to crawl back to his car, where his snickering friends awaited. He was in great pain, but also in great embarrassment, and refused to go to the Emergency Room. His friends just dropped him off at home, where he made the painful choice to soak the rock salt out in the tub.

Eight hours later, the young man was still unsuccessful. By then his parents had heard his muffled screams and wondered what was up. When he finally admitted the truth, they rushed him to the Emergency Room, where doctors removed several chunks of salt and, from what I understand, had the best laugh. One doctor told his parents that he would never be able to reproduce. © 1994 - 2020
Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Idaho Falls Post Register

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