The Darwin Awards 

Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2005 Personals
Captain Magneto
Wild Wheelchair Ride
Do What I Say, Not What I Do
Tight Wad
Gun Safety Nonsense
Medieval Flambe
Air Freshener
The Bigger the Better
Stupid Car
A Salty Tale
Volunteer 'Fire' Man
Other Personal Years 
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum


2005 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random


Stupid Car
2005 Personal Account

(Summer 2003, Oregon) There was no media coverage on this one. I was a witness and rescuer. Around 7AM, I looked up from the machine I was operating at work, and saw an older Nissan at the stop sign across the street. Its emergency flashers were on. A heavyset young woman emerged, opened the hood, and leaned in to manipulate something inside. Suddenly the car lurched forward, knocking her down.

I immediately ran for the door. By the time I started across the parking lot, the bumper of the car was slowly shoving her out into the four-lane boulevard! The situation reminded me of the Steven King story where the car starts trying to kill people. If she had been thinner, the car would have rolled over her, making her a true Darwin nominee. Unsuccessful at crushing her, the woman's car was pushing her into the boulevard's right lane, where other cars could finish the job.

After checking for traffic, I ran across the street to help. Very fortunately for her, the driver of the next vehicle to approach her (a school bus) was quick-witted enough to turn on the flashing red lights, stopping traffic.

As I sprinted to the driver's door, I remember feeling a flash of irritation as the woman gasped to me, "Put it in reverse." Did she think I was going to try to lift it off her? I hopped in and carefully reversed the car. She stood up, brushed herself off, and said, "Stupid car. The transmission linkage is always sticking."

Dumbfounded, all I could think of to say was, "Maybe you should set the parking brake next time." I consciously didn't say, "The car is stupid?" © 1994 - 2020
Submitted by: John Hancock
Reference: Eyewitness Account

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend © 1994 - 2022