The Darwin Awards 

Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2003 Personals
Shortcut Cut Short
Human Paper Towel
Under Pressure
Koroneburg Village Idiot
Hot Hot Chocolate
A Gasser of a Story
Bufo Marinus
The Man with the Iron Stomach
Gas Spill
Other Personal Years 
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum


2003 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random


The Man with the Iron Stomach
2003 Personal Account

(2002, Belgium) One night, I partied all night at a discotheque with friends. Afterwards, we went to a "bar of the king" that was open day and night. Such bars are known for housing thugs and pirates.

We, two men and two women, were sitting at a table drinking vodka and beer when a big, mean-looking man approached the table and started talking shit. He was so intoxicated that the collection of syllables he pronounced could hardly be classified as a language. The girls were annoyed by his presence, and -- typically -- tried to get rid of him by calling him names.

In response, the man seized an empty beer glass (in Belgium, a beer glass is as thick as a normal jar) and bit into it, breaking off a piece. This behavior is common in men who have unresolved frustration and need to show their courage, so we weren't impressed. But then the man started chewing the glass, and quickly bit off another chunk, chewing and biting until only the very bottom of the glass remained, which he put back on the table.

We goggled at the man as he chewed the pieces, and we heard the glass cracking between his teeth. Some blood came out of his mouth. He then tried to swallow the glass, choked, and spat blood-soaked pieces onto the table. Then he started gargling blood and fell to his knees.

We were too paralyzed by the event to move, but the bartender ran up to help the man. He tried to remove the remaining glass from the man's mouth, but the man bit the bartender's finger. I called an ambulance from my cell phone. I don't know if the man survived. And I really don't know why he did it. But remember this: if you have an iron stomach, make sure you throat is iron, too. Reader Comments:
"I think that he had one jar too many."
"I think the 'collection of syllables unidentifiable as a language' were just Flemish." © 1994 - 2020
Submitted by: Davor

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend © 1994 - 2022